13-Y.O Punished For Throwing Her First B.D Party Instead Of Grieving The Loss Of Her Twin, Who Died At Birth

“My mom called me disrespectful, disgraceful, and basically said that she wished my brother had made it instead of me.”

Ayoub

• Published in Interesting
• March 21, 2023

One of the most challenging experiences any parent can go through is dealing with the loss of a child. It can be a while before they come to terms with the loss, considering how emotional and painful it can be.

Parents try their hardest to find a way to cope with the loss of their child to avoid getting stuck in an endless loop of grief. One of the most effective ways is support groups; it's crucial to get the support of other parents who went through a similar experience and share your feelings.

After the loss of a child, there is no "right" way to deal with it. Different people cope differently, so you should find what works for you.

A Redditor who goes by the username u/SunTime2 made a post on the r/AmItheAhole subReddit where she explained how her family punished her after throwing a birthday party for herself that she paid for with her savings. The user's twin brother died at birth, which turned her birthday into a 'grieving day' where no one is allowed to be happy or celebrate anything. 

The Reddit community had a lot of different reactions to the user's post. Scroll down to check out the full Reddit post, and scroll a little further to read the comments from the original post. 

Here's the original post by Reddit user u/SunTime2:

OP's birthday became a “day of mourning” after her brother's death.

Even after moving to the U.S., OP's mom was still against celebrating her birthday.

OP tried to convince her parents to let her have a birthday party, but they refused.

Op saved up enough money to throw her own party and lied to her parents about it.

OP got grounded after her parents found out about the party.

OP doubted her decision and decided to consult with the Reddit community:

OP thinks she might potentially be the a-hole for the following reason:

Here's how the Reddit community reacted to u/SunTime2's post:

The only disrespectful person in this scenario is the mom.

“Celebrate your birthday. Live your life the way you want to.”

That's one of the worst things you could say to your child.

The mother needs to find a way to heal that doesn't involve OP.

OP's family needs to see a therapist as soon as possible.

The mom might be more willing to listen to an adult.

“There is nothing wrong with celebrating the child they have.”

The parents were eventually going to find out, considering the scale of the party OP threw.

The mother's behavior is unacceptable.

“You did nothing wrong by having a party. No one should guilt you for wanting [one]”

Small gestures like these can mean the world to someone.

“Your parents truly need some grief counseling.”

OP's family should seek some therapy and not punish their living daughter for something she had no control over. They can deal with their issues and allow their daughter to have a life of her own.

If you enjoyed reading this, make sure to check out similar content on our platform.

Ayoub