Man Picks Grandpa’s Funeral As Perfect Place To Come Out, Wonders Why People Are Mad

The funeral speech that took a very unexpected turn.

Jesse

• Published in News
• September 3, 2024

Funerals are tough, emotional events where the right words can be hard to find—they might just spill out in ways we didn’t quite plan. This was the situation our narrator (Original Poster) found himself in during a farewell speech gone wrong at his 90-year-old grandpa’s funeral.

Despite the generation gap, OP and his grandpa were pretty tight. In a world where not everyone gets it, Grandpa was a pillar of support—he was even surprisingly accepting when OP came out to him as transgender. 

OP had only come out to a few trusted family members: his parents and now his grandpa. Sure, Grandpa’s memory slipped sometimes, and he’d accidentally use the wrong pronouns. However, each time OP corrected him, Grandpa would re-accept him with warmth and admiration.

So, when the time came for OP to give a speech at his grandpa’s funeral, he naturally wanted to highlight the kindness and acceptance that had meant so much to him. 

In the heat of the moment, he shared one of his favorite memories—how Grandpa would re-accept him every time he corrected his pronouns. It wasn’t until later that OP realized what he’d done. He’d come out to the whole family—some of whom were still in the dark about his transition.

At first, everything seemed fine. People said it was a nice speech, though a bit awkward—but later that night, the other shoe dropped. 

OP’s dad received a text from an uncle, who stated the speech was self-centered, and OP’s mention of his gender identity was out of line. Many of the family’s older folks also weren’t too thrilled with the impromptu reveal. 

OP had his dad’s full support, but he couldn’t help but wonder: did he mess things up by unknowingly stealing the spotlight from Grandpa’s memory?

The story in detail

Here's the background of the story

OP talked about his grandfather accepting him for who he was during his speech. This accidentally revealed OP's gender identity, but he was okay with it.

However, OP's uncle criticized him for sharing his gender identity in the speech, saying it was self-centered, but OP's dad disagreed and supported him, saying that sharing a happy memory with his grandfather was okay.

Check out some interesting comments we've gathered from the Reddit Community;

"I'd be furious you waited for that specific moment to come out"

"You didn't intend to make the speech about yourself"

"He deserves a better send off from his loving family and his grand daughter"

"I completely understand why you told that story"

"That was not the place.It was an event about your grandfather"

"It's not like you hijacked the speech to turn it into your own personal announcement"

"Poor guy can't even get the limelight at his own passing"

While the sentiment was heartfelt, timing was everything—and to Redditors, OP’s timing was way off. Unfortunately, coming out during the funeral shifted the focus away from the grandpa and made it more about OP. 

The consensus was a unanimous YTA, not for being true to himself but for choosing the wrong moment to share his truth.

We’d love to get your thoughts on this story. Join the conversation in the comments.

Jesse