Lady Wants To Know If She'll Be In The Wrong For Throwing Away Her Ex-Boyfriend's Stuff Without Asking Him First, Redditors Respond

"I’m tired of lugging around random things that aren’t mine"

Maryjane

• Published in Interesting
• July 21, 2023

No matter how or why a couple decides to break up, it doesn't change the fact that breakups are extremely difficult. The impending exchange of personal items is among the factors that make it particularly challenging to move on after a split.

Legally, you must give your ex anywhere from 30 to 60 days to get their possessions. This gives your ex-partner more than enough time to gather their belongings, and all you have to do is make sure everything is secure during this period of time.

If you and your ex can get along, you can swap things before the 60-day period without needing to contact a lawyer. In most cases, people swap belongings with their ex-partner within 30 days or after a few weeks, but in the story of today, it took way longer.

OP's boyfriend of 6 years broke up with her almost a year ago and left about three or so medium moving boxes worth of items at her place. He said he would come back for them but didn't, and the OP is tired of lugging around random things that aren’t hers.

The OP moved and took the boxes with her, and now she's moving again. Apparently, the ex's actions don’t match his words, so the OP wants to give the majority of this to goodwill or friends but wants other people's opinions first.

The OP is asking if she's wrong for throwing away her ex's stuffs

The OP still loves him and respect him because he’s been her friend and family for so long

The OP is moving again and she's tired of lugging around random things that aren’t hers

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

The action I will take is getting rid of my bf’s stuff, some of which is personal or sentimental.

The reason that I believe I will be called an AH by my bf is that in a year or so he may want his stuff and realize I didn’t ask his permission to give it away.

Here are some of the top comments from other Redditors for you to read through below

This Redditor would either donate them or honestly just mail it to him

This Redditor wants to know if the OP contacted him and gave him a time limit

If he later says he wanted it, the OP may be liable

The OP should let him know or give him a heads up that his stuff will be thrown out

Throwing it all away or donate it and move on

The OP is trashing the stuff in two weeks

The OP is not the custodian of his lost and found stuff

This Redditor says the OP should do whatever makes sense with each item

The fact that every item of your ex's will serve as a reminder of them is one of the main justifications for you returning their possessions to them as soon as you can. To completely mourn the loss of the relationship and this person in your life and begin the process of healing and moving forward after a breakup, you must make a clean split. 

Maryjane