SIL even asked if the trip could be postponed to a later date, but OP declined to even ask her in-laws.
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When Jake's grandparents came to pick him up, Abby suddenly burst into tears. Jake was shocked and cried as well. OP managed to calm them down before Jake left.
OP's SIL was livid. She was in disbelief that OP actually allowed Jake to go. She said Abby's reactions should have been enough reason for Jake to stay home.
SIL said that a trip to Disneyland was less important that her daughter's emotional well-being.
OP made it clear to her SIL that Jake was not Abby's emotional support dog. He is a 6-year-old child who shouldn't be sacrificing anything for anyone. SIL said she wants OP and Jake out of their house for Abby's sake. She also wants Jake to apologize to Abby.
OP is not going to make her son apologize to her cousin no matter what her SIL meant by that.
SIL said one thing right, OP and Jake need to leave their house immediately
A 6-year-old boy isn't anyone's emotional crutch. It's unfair for him to be subjected into this environment.
This Redditor failed to consider that OP could be in a challenging financial situation after her husband's passing
Prior to this event, OP thought Abby's attachment to Jake wasn't a cause for alarm
Jake isn't old enough to understand the depths of what his cousin is going through
He simply wanted to be there for his cousin. Kids are emphatic.
OP recognized after the meltdown that Abby still has a lot of progress to make. It would be better for her and Jake to leave the house soon.
OP knows that her brother's home is no longer a healthy space for her son
Jake has been incredibly sweet and thoughtful. It's time for him to go back to being a kid.
Abby going with Jake to Disneyland wouldn't have been the best idea
Jake wouldn't have had as much fun as he did if he was still preoccupied by his cousin's emotional state
Jake and OP need to find the space to grieve the loved one they just lost
They went from one emotionally tumultuous situation to another
OP's SIL is afraid of what will happen to Abby once OP and Jake leave. Her overreaction is understandable because she probably had no idea how she could help her daughter.
However, that shouldn't be a six-year-old's responsibility either. Jake and Abby both need help from professionals, not from each other.