Upset Redditor Labelled A**hole For Expecting Her Husband To Dote On Her Mother

"You chose to turn into an odd, subservient housemaid."

Stephanie

• Published in Interesting
• May 20, 2024

It's not unreasonable to expect your significant other to treat your family with kindness and respect. But how much is too much to expect of your partner?

Reddit user u/Previous-Counter-573 recently shared a story in the r/AITA (Am I The A**hole?) subreddit about a disagreement she had with her husband when her mother came to visit. She explained that, due to her Indian background, she was taught from an early age always to treat guests with the utmost respect.

The OP says it's imperative in her family's culture to respect and care for one's parents and always make them feel welcome. She says it's considered basic courtesy to ensure one's guests have eaten and slept well, etc.

The OP explained that in Indian households, it's not uncommon for the children to give up their rooms and beds for family guests. And they do so happily.

The OP and her husband have been married for around ten months. When her husband's parents came to visit them, the OP says she went above and beyond to ensure they felt welcome and comfortable at all times.

When they left, the OP's in-laws were happy, and her FIL even shed some tears. The OP made sure she didn't argue or talk back to her husband in front of his parents at all. 

She woke up early every morning to prepare and serve breakfast and didn't eat herself until everyone else had finished. However, the OP says when her own mother came to visit them a couple of months later, it was a different story.

The OP was still doing everything, while her husband was making minimal effort to help. He would go to bed early, while the OP would stay up late to keep her mom company and then get up early again to make breakfast.

The Redditor's husband would get up late and not even ask her mom if she'd eaten. The OP was furious with her husband for his lack of care for her mother.

The couple began fighting, and now the OP is wondering if she's the a**hole here. Keep scrolling to see how people reacted.

The Redditor asked if she's an a**hole for asking her husband to take better care of her mother.

She explained that, due to her Indian background, she was taught from an early age always to treat guests with the utmost respect.

The OP says it's imperative in her family's culture to respect and care for one's parents and always make them feel welcome.

She says it's considered basic courtesy to ensure one's guests have eaten and slept well.

The OP explained that in Indian households, it's not uncommon for the children to give up their rooms and beds for family guests.

The OP and her husband have been married for around ten months.

When her husband's parents came to visit them, the OP said she went above and beyond to ensure they felt welcome and comfortable at all times.

When they left, the OP's in-laws were happy, and her FIL even shed some tears.

The OP made sure she didn't argue or talk back to her husband in front of his parents at all.

She woke up early every morning to prepare and serve breakfast and didn't eat herself until everyone else had finished.

However, the OP says when her own mother came to visit them a couple of months later, it was a different story.

The OP was still doing everything, while her husband was making minimal effort to help.

He would go to bed early, while the OP would stay up late to keep her mom company and then get up early again to make breakfast.

The Redditor's husband would get up late and not even ask her mom if she'd eaten.

The OP was furious with her husband for his lack of care for her mother.

The couple began fighting, and now the OP is wondering if she's the a**hole here.

Here's how people reacted.

It's a cultural thing.

"WTF is that?"

"Who the hell is expecting you to do that?"

YTA.

"You have unreasonable expectations."

"Your husband never asked you to do this."

"It was you who chose to go that extra mile."

"You chose to turn into an odd, subservient housemaid."

What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think the OP was being too harsh and expecting too much from her husband, or should he have done more to make her mother feel welcome?

We would love to hear your opinions on this topic. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

Stephanie