Parents Unsure How To Handle Son's Request For Money He Turned Down 12 Years Ago

"He doesn't get a do-over now that he's had a change of heart 12 years later."

Stephanie

• Published in Interesting
• October 29, 2023

It's every parent's dream to be able to pay for their child's college education. But what if your child decides he or she doesn't particularly want to go to college?

One Reddit user shared a story in the r/AITA (Am I The A**hole?) subreddit about what happened when her son decided not to go to college. The OP explained that when her son graduated, she and her husband offered to pay for his college tuition.

However, their son refused as he had decided he didn't want to go to college and intended to start working instead. He asked for the funds in cash as an alternative, but the OP and her husband told him they would only give him the money if it was for further education.

After a while, the OP's son gave up asking for the money, and instead, he accepted the OP's used car and $5,000 to get himself started. Meanwhile, when the OP's daughter graduated, they made her the same offer, and she accepted, graduating with a college degree in mathematics.

The OP and her husband paid off their house with the money they had put aside for their son's education. And, due to some health issues, they decided to retire early.

Here's where it gets tricky. Now, the OP's son has decided he wants to go to college after all, and he wants the money.

The Redditor says she and her hubby support their son's ventures 100%. However, the money they once offered is no longer available.

The OP's son said he feels they are "playing favorites" since they paid around $50k for their daughter's college tuition. Now he's demanding that his parents pay him the difference if they want to be invited to his wedding or spend time with any children he may have in the future.

The OP told her son that making threats would not bring the money back, but now she's wondering if she's the a**hole here.

The Redditor asked if she's an a**hole for not giving her son money for college.

The OP explained that she and her husband offered to pay for their son's college right after he graduated.

He asked for the money in cash instead.

The OP decided to give him her old car and $5,000 to get started.

When their daughter graduated, they paid for her degree in mathematics.

The OP and her husband used the money they would have spent on their son's college education to pay off their house and retire early.

Now their son wants to go to college and is expecting them to pay for it.

He has some money saved, but would need to pay most of the school fees out of pocket.

The OP's son accused her and her husband of playing favorites.

He says he is "owed" the same amount they paid for his sister.

Here's how people reacted.

"That was his choice."

He's old enough to know better.

"He doesn't get a do-over now that he's had a change of heart 12 years later."

"He's almost there."

Is he too good for a student loan?

"Offers don't stay open after being rejected."

NTA.

"He is an adult!"

"You snooze, you lose."

"It's not favoritism when he declines it."

What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think the OP should have kept the money for her son, or is he out of line to demand the money now?

We would love to hear your opinions on this topic. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

Stephanie