Sexual Assault Survivor Contemplates Writing A Letter To The Predator That Groomed Her After Seeing A Photo Of Him With His Wife And Teenage Daughter

She asked two subreddits to weigh in because she felt conflicted about sending the letter

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• May 16, 2023

Trigger warning: for rape and sexual assault of a minor. This Reddit post contains the story of a sexual assault survivor thirty years after the events that altered her life.

OP was around 12 to 13 years old when she and her friend started hanging out with a 20-year-old guy. They went for drives to the beach, aimless drives without destinations, and went on rides on the guy's motorcycle.

One night, OP invited Jack over after her parents fell asleep. They stayed outside for a while until OP asked him to go to her room.

They listened to music, talked, and eventually kissed. OP started to feel uncomfortable when she realized things were going too far.

She told Jack to stop and said she wasn't ready. He didn't listen and went ahead as if OP didn't say no.

OP started to make one terrible choice after another because of that night. She was trying to take control over her body, be the one in charge of herself.

OP told a common friend about what Jack did to her that night. The friend confronted Jack, and they fought, but Jack prevailed.

That was the first time that OP talked to Jack after the assault. It was also the last she saw him in person.

30 years later, OP goes back to that night once in a while

She had a flashback and searched for Jack online. He has a wife and a daughter.

The daughter is around OP's age when Jack sexually assaulted her

OP plans on sending Jack a letter to remind him of what he did to her. She wants him to know that she hasn't forgiven him. She just doesn't know if sending the letter is the right thing to do.

OP is not looking for a response from Jack and she is thinking of how to best send the letter without giving away her identity and location

This is a great way for Jack's wife to get to know him better

They implored OP to think about herself and check if this letter is worth opening all those wounds

If she decided to write the letter, making sure that she has a support system in place is paramount

If OP truly wants Jack's wife to know about his predatory past, OP can address the letter to her

A commenter asked OP what is the true purpose of her sending the letter before she finalizes her decision

They went through the same thing and decided not to send the letter. It could be helpful for OP's healing, but she is the only one who can truly answer that.

"Whatever you decide, I hope you find healing in it."

Based on OP's final edit, she doesn't want any response from Jack. She just wants to remind him of what he did.

OP posted on another subreddit asking for other women's perspective

They urged her to talk to a therapist because this decision is beyond your average Reddit user's pay grade

Jack's wife can potentially read the letter but there is a high probability she will not believe a word that OP says

OP reflected on the response and advice she received from both post

It looks like OP has made up her mind, but she wanted other's people's take anyway to consider the aftermath on not just Jack, but to his family as well

She wanted to know how other's would react if they receive a letter similar to OP's

OP said she will be exposing Jack for what he did. However, therapy isn't an option for her at the moment.

It holds no weight to her if Jack's wife believes her or not. She may leave some crumbs to the other person who knew of what Jack did that night.

Surviving her assault was obviously not an easy journey for OP. Even posting about it could have potentially been detrimental to her healing.

OP's conflicting emotions were weaved throughout her post. Whatever she decided to do, may it be as freeing as she imagined it.

Chelsi