31 Things Lovers Do That Give Away Their Secret Relationship, As Revealed By The Folks At Reddit

You've either done some of these or witnessed these things between two people.

May

• Published in Interesting
• September 9, 2022

WThere are many reasons why people may choose to keep their relationship a secret. Perhaps they're not ready to go public with their relationship, or maybe they're worried about what others will think.

Maybe they simply want to keep things between them private. Whatever the reason, there are plenty of good reasons to keep your relationship hidden from the world.

First of all, keeping your relationship a secret can be a way to make it more special. If no one knows about it, it's like you have your own little world that nobody else knows about.

It can be a nice way to feel more connected to your partner. Another reason people might choose to keep their relationship under wraps is that they're not sure if it's going to last.

If it's a new relationship, you might not want to make a big deal about it until you're both sure it's something serious. Finally, some people just don't like the idea of sharing their personal life with the world.

It's up to you whether you want to share your relationship with others, but if you're not comfortable with it, there's no shame in keeping it to yourselves. But it doesn't mean that people won't notice what's going on between the two of you.

In this post, we look at the things that people unknowingly do that give away the true nature of their relationship

Greetings and vague questions

I was hooking up with the receptionist at my job. People started noticing that anywhere I went I’d walk by her. Just to say hi, just to walk by and see her or just to ask a dumb vague question. Etc etc. I went to grab lunch and brought her back something. Game over lol. Secret was out. That receptionist is my wife and I’d do it all over again the same way In a heartbeat.

The dog gives it away.

From personal experience - was hooking up with a coworker and she'd bring her dog into the office. Her dog started sitting under my desk everyday and we were exposed

On the same IP address

A bunch of us used to hang out on a Teamspeak server to play games. One day we were chatting when the server admin just blurted out: "So [guy] and [girl], you two have the same IP address today. You f*****g?"

Change in personal space requirements

Their orbits are smaller around each other. Without meaning to, they will change their personal space requirements with the other. They'll think they're normal distance away, but won't be. Also, they'll move around each other too easily (like in small spaces) without the awkward missteps the rest of us make.

The only interaction in front of people is a glance

I was at a BBQ with dozens of people. A young ridiculously beautiful married couple was there. The wife was pregnant. They brought their short, squat, funnyman roommate with them. At some point funny man and pregnant wife are on opposite sides of the kitchen and I caught a glance between them - no more than a blink of an eye.

It was the only interaction they had all night. In that instant I have never been more sure two people were f*****g. Told my girlfriend, "Those two are smashing", she told me to stop being a creep.

Sure enough 6 months later everyone finds out they're f*****g and funnyman is the dad.

Staring at each other

Staring. I was secretly seeing a guy in school. As far as everyone else was concerned we couldn’t stand each other.

This girl I barely knew pulled me aside and whispered “I don’t know what’s going on between you two but you need to stop staring or everyone else is going to know.”

Later on he wanted to know what the girl said to me. I wasn’t about to admit she noticed my staring, so I said “she thinks there’s something going on with us because you keep staring at me!”

They suddenly stop talking when sharing a story.

When your SO brings someone up way too much in the beginning then mysteriously stops talking about them at all, even when the situation potentially calls for it.

The little things during conversations

The little conversational clues. Like when two people glance knowingly at each other frequently, or have friendly little side whispers because they have their own thing going on apart from the group.

And they hover near each other to be physically close. All those little examples of intimacy that is only between them.

A married ex friend of mine once started showing up with a woman and acting like that. I could tell they were banging, and I couldn't believe he wasn't trying harder to conceal it. Turns out, the poor woman had no idea he was married, and was unaware that everyone else DID know.

It was later traumatizing to her to realize she had been seen as a mistress, when she was the only person who didn't know what was really happening.

She's now a friend of mine. He is not.

They're too close

Physical closeness

Princess Margaret was (accurately) accused of having an affair after wiping some fluff/dust off of a married man’s suit jacket

When they're in denial

When your partner goes over the top of how unattractive, uninteresting, cringy, weird, etc..the other person is.

Using the same speech mannerisms

They start using each other’s speech mannerisms. Like one of them always replies to something you say to them with, “Is that right?”, and then you hear your wife saying it all the time after you get back from a week long work trip.

They have the same scent the next day.

These two I used to work with, they got found out because a skunk sprayed outside the guys house real bad. The next day they came in to work separately and ignored each other as usual, but they both smelled like skunk. Then everyone knew, but they didn’t know we knew.

Avoidance

It's definitely the awkward avoidance of one another for no reason.

When I was a supervisor two of my employees were secretly dating and being as young as they were (19-20yrs old) they didn't have the ability to hide their feelings without avoiding each other as if they hated one another.

I figured it out on Day 1. Hilariously cute.

Edit: when they finally told me I told them I already knew. They were flabbergasted that I figured it out. It wasn't that hard! When y'all make googly eyes at one another across the store or try to surreptitiously touch hands at the till I'm gonna notice.

Eye contact

Eye contact, side glances. Had a buddy of mine who was convinced that a coworker and I were hooking up.

One morning he walked up to her and commented on how good she looked, and mentioned how great her haircut was… he immediately turned around to catch me glaring at him.

The gig was up. Ended up marrying her.

Not friends on social media, yet they came to the same place at the same time.

I’ve caught people because they didn’t follow one another on social media to try to avoid suspicion, but they both posted that they were at the same place and similar photos, and despite not posting about one another, it was obvious.

They didn’t know what the other was posting because they didn’t follow one another lmfao which ultimately lead to the downfall of their discretion.

You can feel the awkwardness between the two.

They get awkward if you come up to them when they are together. I just want coffee and you’re standing in front of the machine and I didn’t think anything was going on until you got all awkward. You’re allowed to be friends and stand here and talk.

They are the last to leave.

The two of them consistently being the last ones left at the group hangout, especially if one of them is hosting.

They suddenly stop flirting, and they look at each other in crucial moments.

If you know them before it they’ll stop flirting as much as they had been prior to it. They make sure they don’t leave a place together but linger around long enough to know when the other is leaving. They look at each other when something funny or bad happens.

These three things

They laugh just a little too loud

They stand just a little too close

They stare just a little too long

Stealing food from the other's plate

When a bunch of coworkers go out to eat and one just ‘casually’ steals food of another’s plate and that other person doesn’t even try to act surprised or like it’s not normal. This happened not too long ago haha

They try to avoid the issue.

I worked on a tv show and there were rumors that one of the married cast members was hooking up with this other hot blonde cast member. Wasn't sure if the rumors were true until I saw the stage/reunion show. When everyone walked on stage, they were the only two out of 16 that didn't hug. Totally f****d

The casual touches

Sometimes you can tell by the way they casually (appropriately) touch each other in public. Certain things are awkward until you cross that line.

You notice the little things

So my wife had this best friend from college. We will call her "A". A married this guy, who we will call "B". We all had a mutual friend from college who would hang around with us all the time.

We will call him "J". We were all really close for years. Then, I started to notice little things between A and her husband. They would bicker, but nothing unusual for married couple. But she wouldn't let it go.

As time went on, she started making small, belittling comments towards him. Then I noticed when we went to dinner and he tried to put his arm around her or get her attention, she'd very subtly move away or have to answer an urgent text.

All the while, J started showing her a little more attention. Again, we were all close friends and had been for some time, so no one really suspected anything. I told my wife a few days later, "Yea babe, A is sleeping with J." She swore that was impossible. Couldn't be!

I mean, we were all in A and B's wedding party! About a year passes and A tells B she wants a divorce. She can't take it anymore. He isn't driven enough for her. He isn't "in shape" enough for her. She was over him. About 6 months after the divorce, A comes over to my house a bit tipsy and visibly upset.

Come to find out, in the two and a half years her and B were married, she was sleeping with J for one of them. Exactly around the time I told my wife she was. She was upset because J had promised that if she left B, they would be together. She gets a divorce, A and J go on a trip together "as friends," and the next week, J ghosted her and got back together with his college sweetheart.

For me, the tell-tale sign was the subtle distancing from her current partner and the touch bit more extra attention she was receiving from J. That negative vibe she was putting off towards her husband mixed with the smirks and extra attention to detail she showed J was clear as day to me.

Your guy tells you something

If you’re going through something to make you ask this, trust your gut. I had the gut feeling my ex wife was cheating, all the signs were there but I just thought she’d never do that and all the evidence was coincidental. My brain didn’t want to see it, so I put blinders on.

Fast forward a couple of months, I found out she was, and my family all said I must be an idiot for not seeing what was right in front of me. Ask others opinions that you both know, they’ll tell you an unbiased opinion. Someone you can trust

Something feels hot when you sit between a couple.

When you stand between them you feel like you are being cooked alive. I once sat between two colleagues who were obviously getting it on and man … felt like I was in an oven.

Mirroring the other's actions

Mirroring body position, gestures, facial reactions. People do this in general, with those that they like and/or respect, but with couples it can happen a lot.

Change in musical preference

Sudden change in music they listen to. My ex wife suddenly started listening to country constantly. I knew right then.

Awkward in front of everyone

Kind of like what Joey in Friends reasoned. If there is chemistry on stage, chances are no chemistry in real life. If they are awkward on stage, chances are they are having sex in real life.

If they are acting awkward in front of others and clearly trying hard to act like they don’t care about each other, sexual relationship. If they carry out as normal and work well together, no secret sexual relationship.

Sly glances

They exchange a speedy sly glance upon the mention of a sex act. Two co-workers did this during a game of never have I ever. Little did they know, I’d already caught them weeks before. It was fun watching how they responded to various comments. Surprisingly unsubtle once I knew.

Carpooling

Carpooling when there is not much convenience to it because they don't live all that close to each other.

Acting weird suddenly in each other's presence

They act weird all of a sudden when things that should be considered normal happen.

Like friends acting playful but they suddenly stop (Because they realize it might be taken the wrong way) when in reality it wouldn't they are only fearing such as they know things are indeed the wrong way.

Are relationships better when they're a secret or out in the open?

Well, that depends on who you ask. Some people prefer to keep their relationship under wraps because it makes them feel more special and intimate.

Others would rather shout from the rooftops that they're madly in love. Ultimately, it comes down to personal preference and what makes both partners happy.

What do you think? Is it better to keep your relationship a secret or let everyone know about your love?

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