Redditor, Who Highly Values Privacy And Personal Space, Expresses Frustration With Roommate Consistently Crossing Boundaries

The roommate constantly barges into the woman's room while she's having her quiet time.

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• Published in Interesting
• November 27, 2023

It's super important to respect personal space to keep those positive vibes flowing in our relationships, ensure effective communication, and establish trust with people. When we acknowledge that people need their personal space and privacy, we help create a relaxing and emotionally healthy environment.

Over at the Am I The A**hole (AITA) subreddit, a 22-year-old woman shares that a once-harmonious living situation has hit a snag. The original poster (OP), who cherishes quiet moments for work and personal activities, has communicated her need for privacy to her roommate.

However, the roommate's recent personal issues have made her clingy and intrusive. Unannounced visits, interruptions, and attempts to join the OP during yoga sessions have become common.

Despite the OP's attempts to discuss boundaries, the roommate dismisses her concerns as uptight. The breaking point came when the roommate barged into Anna's room without knocking, catching her in a position the OP prefers not to be seen.

The OP, feeling violated, confronted her roommate, who dismissed her feelings. The OP insists on how important personal space is.

Yet, the roommate sees her as inflexible and unsympathetic. The situation makes the OP wonder if insisting on her boundaries makes her the a-hole.

She also asks the online community if she should be accommodating of her roommate's needs.

The OP is tired of her roommate constantly going beyond her boundaries when it comes to personal space and privacy.

At first, the OP and her roommate got along pretty well.

But when the roommate started having life issues, she became clingy with the OP.

The OP can't take all the intrusions anymore. She started setting firm boundaries but gets dismissed by her roommate.

Now, her roommate tells her she's being unsympathetic.

Redditors advice installing a lock on her door so that the roommate can't barge in anymore.

The roommate needs to create her own support system that doesn't involve the OP. As for the OP, she needs to strictly enforce her boundaries.

A door stopper should do the trick if a lock won't.

Maybe the roommate will get the point once the OP gets a lock and bar access from her room.

In times when the OP needs her quiet time, she can put up a "Do not disturb," sign or put on noice canceling headphones.

The OP's room is her private property. The roommate has no right to barge in whenever she pleases.

There's no other way through this but to have a serious discussion on boundaries.

The OP also needs to make her roommate realize that she is ignoring her needs. She's a grown up who needs to be able to fix her own issues.

If the roommate keeps on disrespecting her boundaries, it's time for the OP to take action on her own. She needs to install locks or a door stopper to prevent her roommate from entering whenever she pleases.

A serious discussion on setting boundaries also needs to happen. They need to find a middle ground to ensure that they feel comfortable and respected in their shared space.

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