Young Man Is Having Trouble Making Roommate Understand He Is Not Entitled To His Car

"He's making it seem like I'm an idiot or something, but I'm just trying to protect myself."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• September 13, 2023

Have you ever been in a situation where someone asks to borrow something you care about, and you're not sure what to do? It's a common situation we all find ourselves in from time to time. You want to be helpful, but you also don't want to risk your precious belongings.

Approximately eight months ago, OP took out a car loan amounting to $3000 to acquire an older Acura MDX, which he has since become quite fond of and has taken great care of. OP's roommate, Kyle, approached him with an unusual request, something he had never asked for during their two months of shared living.

Kyle inquired if he could borrow OP's car to run a quick errand, explaining it was just a two-block trip to retrieve some belongings from a friend's house. OP hesitated and eventually declined, expressing concerns about potential accidents and insurance coverage.

Kyle responded with frustration, questioning the need for such caution on a short journey. Despite the refusal, OP agreed to drive Kyle to his friend's house, hoping to ease the tension between them.

During the brief drive, Kyle made sarcastic comments under his breath, expressing dissatisfaction with the situation. OP felt genuinely upset by the encounter, puzzled as to why Kyle had asked to borrow his car for such a short distance and why he had reacted with frustration.

He questioned if he was being unreasonable in his decision not to lend his car, reiterating his rule against letting anyone else drive it, regardless of the distance.

OP has a strong attachment to his car, which he took a loan to purchase, and his roommate has unexpectedly asked to borrow it

OP refuses, citing concerns about insurance. In order to avoid further conflict, agrees to drive him.

OP is upset, wondering why the roommate asked to borrow the car for such a short distance and why he is being insulted

Accidents can happen unexpectedly, the importance of having insurance

OP doesn't have to borrow the car

The essence here is that someone is becoming upset because they are not getting what they want, and this behavior is seen as a sign of entitlement. The narrator reflects on a piece of advice that suggests a person's true character is revealed when they react to being told "No." They believe that it's okay to say "No" when necessary, even if it causes anger, and if someone needs something like a car, they should be responsible for obtaining it themselves.

OP's roommate's behavior is unpleasant.

OP needs to politely decline to lend his car to his roommate, making it clear that being roommates doesn't automatically grant them access to OP's vehicle

OP is not being unreasonable for refusing to lend their car to a friend, even if the friend's destination is not far away

OP's roommate is being immature in this situation

If OP's roommate cannot demonstrate respect even when being shown kindness, then he ought to obtain his own car.

Reacting poorly to a polite refusal or being snarky when offered a ride is considered rude

OP chose not to let Kyle borrow his car for a short trip of just two blocks. OP was worried about his car's insurance and wanted to make sure his car stayed safe. On the other hand, Kyle got upset and made sarcastic comments because he might not have understood why OP said no.

In simpler terms, both OP and Kyle could have talked to each other more nicely about how they felt. OP could have explained why he didn't want to lend his car in a calmer way. Kyle could have tried to understand why OP cared so much about his car.

In the end, it's up to OP to decide who drives his car because it's his car. Everyone has different rules for their things, and that's okay. This situation shows that talking openly and being kind to each other is important when you live together.

Damjan