Paying For Friend Group Activities Even When Not Attending - Student Tagged ‘Rich Friend’ In Dilemma

The crushing weight of ‘rich friend’ expectations.

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• July 29, 2024

Navigating friendships in college is tricky enough without adding financial dynamics to the mix. Things took a turn for the worse for one 20-year-old student who was suddenly slammed with the ‘rich-friend’ label after her friends discovered her social status.

To get things straight, our narrator (Original Poster) and her close-knit group of seven friends attended a posh college on zero scholarship—so they weren’t exactly struggling. 

Earlier in their friendship, splitting bills was the norm, but OP often offered to pick up the tab. It wasn't about having excessive money but just how she was raised. 

However, things changed dramatically when her friends discovered her father’s prominence in the real estate industry through a casual conversation. 

Suddenly, OP became the 'rich friend.’ She was expected to splurge on expensive items, opt for Ubers over public transport, and foot the bill 100% of the time.

The tipping point came on her 20th birthday. She’d always treated her friends generously and hoped they’d reciprocate this one time once. Instead, her special day was met with the same old expectation that she’d cover expenses. Disappointed but not surprised, OP let it slide.

A recent vacation to her home country was, however, the final straw. Despite having dinner plans with her parents, OP reluctantly joined a pub crawl with her friends.

She had one drink and no food, but as she made to leave for her family dinner, a friend asked her to cover the tab. This disturbing request made OP feel used and unappreciated, so she left without paying even after assuring them she would.

The matter was brushed aside, but OP’s discomfort lingered. Was there a way to reset her friends’ expectations without coming off as the bad guy?

The story in detail

OP and her friends have been together since university. Being an expensive college, OP assumed all her friends were also from wealthy families.

While talking about their parents’ occupations, OP’s friends discovered she was rich and started treating her that way.

When OP and her friends go out, they expect her to spend a lot and riddle her when she tries to be conservative.

When one of her friends's birthday, OP offered to bear the cost of any activity done that day. However, she was troubled when her own birthday came, and her friends did not reciprocate the gesture.

The deal breaker was when OP and her friends went on vacation to her home country. Her friends suggested they go out and although she earlier refused she decided to go but to her surprise, they opened a tab and asked her to pay for it which she did not.

After that night, OP’s friend's character changed. They see her as a rich friend who should always pay for things for them.

OP decided to use her dad as a shield to explain why she did not cover her friend's bill.

To clarify a few details, OP states the following:

The final bits

We gathered some interesting comments below:

“Get some self-respect, seems that even big money can't buy it.”

“They ignored your birthday. Not the deepest friendship.”

OP realized she had been cast in a role she never auditioned for: the “rich friend” who always pays. Redditors urged her to put her foot down and openly express how her friends’ expectations made her feel.

True friends should appreciate each other for who they are, not what they can buy. If they switch up after the freebies are gone, it might be time for OP to find new friends.

Do you agree with the commenters? Share your thoughts with us.

Jesse