Redditor Considers Breaking Lease After Boyfriend Reveals Plan To Bring Dog Into Shared Apartment, Despite Knowing About Her Childhood Dog Attack

“It’s either the dog or me.”

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• August 26, 2023

Trauma leaves lasting impacts, often leading to triggers that can be seemingly irrational from an outsider's perspective. Regardless of how trivial these triggers might appear to us, showing respect and understanding is important.

This narrative revolves around our narrator (OP), who has a longstanding dislike for dogs due to a brutal attack some years back—only for her partner to insist on bringing a dog into their lives just after they moved in together.

For the couple, moving in together was a dream come true and the start of a new journey in their relationship. But little did OP know that her boyfriend was waiting for them to settle in before dropping the bombshell.

Apparently, OP's boyfriend has had a 4-year-old dog tucked away at his sister’s place all along. And now that he has his own place, he is ready to take full responsibility for the dog.

This news came as a shock to OP because not once in their two-year relationship had he mentioned owning a dog. He knew about their traumatic past with dogs, the scars it left both inside and out, so why keep the dog secret until now?

OP informed him they were not willing to share their space with this mystery dog, and if he insisted, they would move out immediately.

OP's boyfriend clearly didn’t take them seriously, as they arrived home from work to meet the dog settled in their home. Their reaction was to quietly go back to their car and attempt to drive off—but luckily, their boyfriend ran out in time to explain himself.

What should have been a peaceful negotiation snowballed into a heated argument, with OP threatening to contact the landlord and break out of their lease.

OP's boyfriend feels they're overreacting, but they insist that they have every right to reject living with a dog, especially due to their past trauma.

The story in detail

A little background

OP’s has threatened to move out of their shared apartment if he takes in the dog

OP’s boyfriend thinks they are overreacting and should give the dog a chance

Here’s how the Reddit community reacted to the story:

“Your BF is a total AH for hiding the existence of the dog.”

“Good for you for standing your ground. I’m sorry this happened to you.”

“He wants both you and the dog and so he lied by omission for 2 years.”

“NTA…He’s proven that he’s manipulative and untrustworthy.”

“NTA…You don't have a pet in your home unless everyone is OK with it.”

“If he lied about something like this for so long, what does this say about his behavior?”

“NTA - you got manipulated, lied to, taken advantage of, and trapped.”

“NTA he lied to you for two years and of course he was planning this all along.”

This story underscores the importance of empathy and open communication in a relationship, particularly when one person is dealing with past trauma.

Owning a pet is a significant responsibility, even under normal circumstances. One which necessitates discussion and mutual agreement.

The Reddit community has decided to stand behind OP in their decision. They have criticized their boyfriend's disregard for their trauma and his manipulative actions.

To ignore a partner's trauma and to disregard their boundaries is to hoist a red flag. And the commenters have made sure to point OP to the negatives of continuing this relationship.

We’d love to get your thoughts on this. join the conversation in the comments.

Jesse