Couples Therapists Reveal Relationship Red Flags That Could Signal The End Of A Relationship

Here's what they say you should look out for and how you can resolce them if possible

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• January 7, 2022

Therapy used to be a taboo subject. You're not supposed to talk about your mental health issues and you're not supposed to say that you go to a shrink because people might label you a basket case.

However, people are being more open about their mental health struggles and how they think therapy should be accessible for anyone. We agree, there's no shame in getting the help that you need.

Aside from your mental well-being as an individual, it's also important to make sure that your romantic relationship is in a good place. Even when you're not having problems, couples therapy is a great idea.

Think of it as a preventative measure for when you do hit a rough patch. Going to therapy as partners will help the people involved in the relationship get the tools they need to deal with forthcoming issues.

It will also provide couples a safe space to air out their differences and to better understand their significant others. However, it doesn't always work out for everyone.

Some couples treat therapy as the end-all and be-all of their problems. They go into a session thinking that all their problems will magically disappear.

This was the topic in a Reddit forum where therapists were asked what are some indicators that a relationship is on the rocks and is it a solvable problem. Boy, did we learn a lot!

Here's the Reddit post that opened our eyes:

Contempt is defined as regarding another person to be beneath you i.e., looking down on your partner or not respecting them

Apparently, it's a pillar of divorce

So what does contempt look like for in real life couples?

"Mean Girls" was a movie truly ahead of its time

If your SO bothers you so much that you can't stand the sound of them being alive, then it might be too late

Couples who seem to think that their therapist is supposed to pick their side over their partner

But I pay you to validate my feelings and dismiss theirs!

Just FYI bad therapists do exists

Apparently, it's indicative of controlling behavior when one person objects to or gets alarmed by the therapist's request to see them individually for assessment

Edited for clarity:

They're probably trying to hide something if they're that insistent on shaping the narrative

"Actually, it happened this way..."

Could also be a tactic to shut the other person up if it's an abusive relationship

Good for this person's mother!

If you use cheating to get back at your partner then it is absoulutely necessary to see a therapist...

... or a divorce lawyer

It should be normalized and could save a lot of couples from going through a messy divorce

These best friends had better communication skills than most long-term couples. They love each other enough to go to counselling and it saved their friendship.

This itemized list of flare signals to see if the relationship will sink or sail.

Couples therapy will sometimes give you the courage to really express your feelings, wants, and needs

When one person thinks they're the main character in the relationship

This hits like a ton of brick

Changing the "essence" of your SO. Also, go to therapy individually!

Only seeing the bad parts

Part 2

Instead of owning your own faults, you deflect and list their flaws instead

Communicate with your SO, please and yelling is not communicating

This comment is basically Conflict Resolution 101

Really good stuff

It's difficult when one party wants to work on the relationship and the other knows it's too late

When you argue too much, the relationship won't probably last

There's a reason why old, married couple highlight compromise as a foundation of their relationship

In several comments, we've seen therapists recommend the book "Hold Me Tight" by Dr. Sue Johnson. The book explains how couples get into these types of difficult situations and the ways they can resolve them.

A book won't answer all of your questions and neither will Reddit. But it is very interesting to see what couples go through and how therapists perceive these relationship issues.

Do you know what can be learned from this discussion? Therapy should be made accessible for everyone, so couples can get ahead of the problems before it side sweeps them.

Chelsi