30 Parents Share Their Funny "I Raised An Idiot" Stories And It Reveals Their Children's Dumbest Moments

These kids are only using the knowledge available to them

Maryjane

• Published in Funny
• May 21, 2023

All children will make mistakes, but that doesn't change the fact that their parents still love them. And although the majority of these occurrences will be absurd and foolish, a few of them might push the line into the "I think I'm raising an idiot" category.

Parents were urged by a reddit user to report the moment they discovered their child was probably not going to win the Nobel Prize award. Parents were anxious to tell their stories and they are certainly humorous but then, it seemed to make sense to their kids.

There's one good reason why we shouldn't pass too much judgment on these young kids and that is because they are merely utilizing the knowledge that is readily available to them at whatever age they are. We can certainly give them credit for their amusing and interesting interpretations though as we wouldn't have this thread if they didn't have those dumb moments.

The reddit thread was quite popular, and after over 32k upvotes and more than 7k responses, we've chosen the funniest stories about these kids and their foolish moments. So keep scrolling and get ready for a food laugh.

More Info: Reddit

1. When my son was 11 years old, he confidently informed me he was pretty sure he knew everything there was to know, because he tried to think of something that he didn't know, and couldn't think of anything

2. When one of my daughters tries to insult the other by telling her how ugly she is

They’re identical twins.

3. Told my kid that carrots help you see in the dark, he then went into the basement with a carrot and started waving it around like a flashlight.

4. Smell it all up

My 13 year old son was sniffing really hard and moving his head all around the area he was standing in. Slightly concerned he had lost his mind, I asked him what he was doing. He told me, "I farted. I'm trying to smell it all up, so you don't have to smell it." He's a thoughtful idiot.

5. The idiot kid

I'm the idiot kid, but when I was about 3, after preparing dinner, my mom would leave me alone in the kitchen. After I finished, I would search for some M&Ms to nibble at, knowing I wasn't allowed.

Every time after I finished, I would go over to my mom and ask her "Did you hear me eating M&Ms in the kitchen?". She would always reply yes and I would always get so frustrated, because every time I tried to be as stealthy as possible.

I never realized what blew my cover until I grew older.

6. Woah

I used to tell my kids not to take off their shoes and socks in the car, especially on short trips. Just leave them on so that we don't have to spend 5 minutes finding and putting them back on before we run into the store. Imagine a single dad with two young kids running around the car trying to re-shoe my children in the grocery store parking lot in the middle of an Arizona summer, yuck.

One day we went to the store and my daughter was missing her shoe. It was nowhere to be found. "Daddy, I didn't want you to be mad that my shoe was off so I threw it out the window." Made sense to a 5-year old I guess.

7. he was not the sharpest tool in the shed...

One day after school my brother and i met up w my dad (he worked at the school) and the janitor and began walking to the parking lot.

We passed the elementary building and the janitor lets out a huge sign about "some punk writing their name on the facade"

My dad looks over and said "It's the same name as my kid but at least his name is spelled differently since it has a C in it"

*loud gasp*

My brother: I FORGOT THE C!!!

8. A discussion

My youngest son, 14! years old, when we were on a train and he was looking outside: "Mum, what are these plants?"

Me: "They are potato plants."

He: "Fries are made from potatoes, right?"

Me: "Yes, of course. You know that, we made our own, can't you remember?"

He: "They should plant fries instead. No one likes potatoes!"

He looked at me with a face that said: "I invented space and time travel, bow in front of your genius son!" I just closed my eyes and hoped for the best.

He is a site engineer now and does well in life, because everything that isn't job related is managed by his wife. She is a godsend and I try to be the best mother in law that exists, because I want her to stay with him forever!!!

9. Flying powers

When my youngest son, who was 10 at the time, was getting his ears checked at the pediatrician and they found a “foreign object” in his left ear.

Said object was a dead housefly. Because he thought sticking a fly in his ear would give him flying powers.

He had caught it and shoved it in there alive about a week prior.

10. Cats

My son came to our house to visit (he didn't live with us), we weren't home but we on our way home so he let himself in.

We walk in and he's freaking out about breaking our newly adopted cat or something to that effect. I asked him what was she doing, she looked fine to me. He said she was "vibrating" when she sat on his lap.

This is where he learned about cats purring. He hadn't been around a lot of cats so idk.

11. When I asked my 14yo if she could please bring me a piece of cake, she cut it, forgot why, then ate it.

12. Peter Pan Peanut Butter

When the Peter Pan Peanut Butter recall happened 10-12 years ago or so (due to salmonella) my then-15 year old daughter came in from school and as she was walking past the living room (tv was on) she stopped and watched the news report about the salmonella outbreak. She got this “ah-ha” lightbulb moment and said, “oh, now I get it! It’s about peanut butter!

All day at school I kept hearing Peter Pan was killing people around the country and I thought he had turned bad or something and was now a villain.” I just stared at her waiting for her to say she was joking and didn’t really think Peter Pan was real, but no, she just went upstairs to her room like we just had a normal conversation about normal, every-day events.

13. My son spent 18 months of his teenage years telling people he was born in Brazil. He was born in Bristol

14. Another one

It continues...

Final part

15. My dad’s moment was when I made him drive around with me because my car had been making a “thunk” noise every time I made a turn. After 15 minutes he announced it was the baseball bat in my trunk rolling around.

16. Daughter calls me "there is a cop behind me with his lights on. What should I do?"

17. When my son was disappointed by sex ed class. He thought they were going to learn some moves.

18. Messy teenager

My daughter was a messy teenager who had to be told to clean her room. She had a habit of letting dishes pile up on her nightstand. We were on her a*s constantly about not letting dishes especially sports bottles of juice sit around because they ferment. Well one day the husband and I were is our bedroom and heard an explosion and our daughter scream. We ran to her room to find one of her bottles of juice had finally given in to the pressure of the fermented juice and literally blew to pieces. The explosion was so powerful the top left a hole in her ceiling and there were tiny pieces of sports bottle shrapnel everywhere. She's my smart one

19. A clean pair

3 year old is preparing for his bath. His underwear looks strange but I'm distracted his brother. Kid takes off one pair of underwear, then a 2nd pair, then a 3rd. I ask why he is wearing 3 pairs of underwear. Kid looks at me like I'm an idiot, "Mom told me to put on a clean pair every day".

That nonautistic kid grew up to place the highest in math in our large Midwestern city. But even in his 20's you have to make sure you give clear instructions as he will follow rules to the letter.

20. Truck driver

It continues

21. Moving out

I asked my kids what the biggest dinosaur was and my oldest (15Y/O male) said paleontologist without skipping a beat. That's when I knew I was in trouble. Then my friend told my 10-year old that the dirt on the car tasted like candy, so he licked it. He tried to get his 6-year-old brother to do it but even he wasn't falling for it. At least 3 out of 5 kids will move out of my house eventually.

22. Too hot

I don’t think he’s an idiot but I think he lacks common sense because he’ll take a bite of food, it will be scalding hot. He’ll cry and act like he’s dying, but won’t spit it out. He’ll say “Mommy it’s hot!!” And I’ll say “Well I told you to wait for it to cool down,” or “Then blow on it” or something to that effect. He will say no, and then continue taking scalding hot bites and crying that it’s too hot.

In his defense his father’s the same way.

23. One sock

My son yelled at me from outside to come get his toy from the grass (he was standing in the driveway). When I asked why he couldn't get it himself he explained he was only wearing one shoe. When I asked why he was only wearing one shoe he replied that he could only find one sock.

24. He knew there was a frozen pizza in the garage but couldn't find it. Didn't even think to check the freezer.

25. I had my sister text my mom that she forgot her phone at home

26. "He's in Army Intelligence."

His car battery died while be was parked at the storage unit while he was home on leave from the army. Come to find out he had turned off the car to save gas, but had left the heat/ blowers, and seat warmers on so his girlfriend wouldn't get cold.

27. Smart idiots

28. "I need, like, a jacket for my legs." - said by my 13 year old who does know what pants are.

29. Look out

My 14 yr old soon went into a dressing room to try on 5 pairs of pants. After waiting 15 min and yelling twice into the men’s dressing room to see if was ok, he admitted he could find the shorts he had worn in.

He gave me 3 pairs of the pants and still couldn’t find them. I finally had to go into the stall to look. They were balled up in the leg of one of the pair of pants. It was extremely noticeable.

He swore he took his shorts off before trying on any of the pants so he didn’t think to look in them. I was speechless. He’s in the gifted and talented program in our school district.

30. My brother couldn't remember the proper name for shoes so he called them 'foot houses'. Mum confirmed that day that at least one of her teenage children was a bit doughy up top.

We've all had or experienced these kinds of moments before, and they must have been quite hilarious to remember. If you've ever had an "I'm raising an idiot moment," don't be shy about sharing your experiences in the comments section!

Do share this post with others to make them laugh as well.

Maryjane