Man Claims Not To Know About "Push Gifts" After His Wife Hinted That She Wanted One, Leads To Several Arguments

"This goes against my understanding of an equal relationship"

Maryjane

• Published in Interesting
• November 11, 2023

We all know that carrying and giving birth to a child are labor-intensive tasks. Therefore, your pregnant partner deserves a great deal of respect and gratitude when they ultimately give birth to what is perhaps the greatest gift of life.

At this point, a push gift is useful. Although some may think it's difficult for a man to comprehend because men have never experienced pregnancy themselves, it's not an easy process. She's worn out, hormonal, and has experienced a lot.

Of course, she should have everything, or at the very least, a beautiful piece of jewelry. Nowadays, many people are greeting the new mother by purchasing a push present, as opposed to the customary flowers or balloons, after the baby is born.

A keepsake gift for the new mom might be anything from jewelry to a spa package or something more useful. In today's story, one of the OP's wife's friends got diamond earrings as a gift for giving birth.

So she expected the OP to get her something as well, seeing that she just gave birth to their first child. The thing is, OP's wife came from a different country and gave up her job to move together after they got married.

This meant that the OP's income was the only income they had. OP's response to the push gift of a thing was that he's never heard of this being a thing.

For him, this goes against his understanding of an equal relationship.

Here's the story's headline

The OP made it clear that he doesn’t consider this as his income but as their family's income

The OP never heard of this being a thing, and for him, this goes against his understanding of an equal relationship

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

(1) what action you took that should be judged - I refuse to buy my wife a push gift even after she hinted that she would have hoped to receive one. (2) why that action might make you the asshole. - Because i understand that giving birth is tremendous (only done by the women) effort and one could expect something in return. Also i understand that there might be cultural differences.

Below are a bunch of the topmost comments from other Redditors for you to read through

The OP's understanding of an equal relationship

This Redditor received a bouquet of flowers

The OP can buy whatever gifts he wants

How is the OP contributing to his wife risking her life and health?

This Redditor has a problem with the term "push gift"

It would be thoughtful to have flowers sent along

This Redditor finds people like the OP exhausting

Why can't the OP just give his wife a heartfelt gift?

A push present is a contemporary method of congratulating the new mother on the arrival of her little bundle of joy. It is usually given by the mother's partner but the OP claims he doesn't know about it.

Some Redditors didn't get how OP could go through pregnancy and childbirth living with his wife and think that anything about it is "equal." Still, no AHs were found in the story.

Maryjane