Woman Asks How To Handle Partner Who Prioritizes Parents Over Wedding Plans

" So now I have to pretend like I am happy for him to get to spend time with his friends and family"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• February 7, 2024

Dealing with vacation time can be tricky, especially when you're trying to make everyone happy. OP, a 35-year-old woman, and her fiance, a 34-year-old man, are preparing for their wedding in June this year.

They have been together for over three years. Her fiance has 15 vacation days for the year, with one week designated for Christmas due to office closure. He decided to use a portion of his vacation days for a bachelor party that would take about three days and two days for dental work.

OP initially had no concerns about these plans until yesterday when her fiance's parents asked him to take a week-long vacation with them and his sister in April, requiring him to renew his passport. OP and her 13-year-old son were also invited, but due to her work in the school system, she couldn't take her son out of school for a week.

She had previously suggested planning something for spring break in March, but it seems they overlooked her work schedule. OP's fiance feels obligated to fulfill his family's request, which means he won't have any vacation days left for the year after their wedding.

OP had hoped they could go on a 3-4 day cruise, but that plan seems unlikely now. She's struggling with the emotional turmoil of this situation and is looking for advice on how to gracefully accept it and genuinely be happy for her fiance

Her fiance eventually decided not to go on the family trip because he didn't want to leave her and her son for an extended period, which relieved her of her initial concerns.

OP and her fiance are getting married in June, he has 15 vacation days for the year, with one week required for Christmas, and he planned three days for a long bachelor party and two days for dental work.

Everything was fine until his parents asked him to take a week-long vacation in April with them and his sister.

OP and her son were invited, but it seems they overlooked that she works for the school system and wouldn't take her son out of school for a whole week.

OP's fiance is prioritizing his family's wishes, leaving no time for a post-wedding vacation, OP is aware it's not his fault, and there's no solution.

She's looking for guidance to cope with emotional struggles and find true happiness.

In the end, he talked to his family and told them that he decided not to go on the trip and OP feels relieved he made that choice independently.

OP should prioritize herself and have some self-respect.

OP's husband should have prioritized spending time with her during their wedding year.

He should talk to his parents and plan when OP and her son can attend.

Her fiancé didn't allocate any vacation time for their honeymoon, and that's a valid reason to feel let down.

OP should choose a husband who values her more than his fear of disappointing his parents.

It's important to communicate her feelings to him if she is upset or disappointed with his decisions, as he can't read her mind.

His actions and choices are dubious.

He prioritizes partying and his parents' vacation over his relationship with the woman he's marrying, which is concerning.

OP should put herself first and respect her own needs and feelings. Her fiance instead of feeling pressured by his parents, should have talked to them about finding a time when OP and her son could join the family vacation.

It's okay for OP to be disappointed that her fiance didn't plan any vacation time for their honeymoon. The honeymoon is a special part of a wedding, and, sadly, it seems to have been forgotten.

They should talk openly about their feelings because he can't guess what she's thinking.

Damjan