Teen Baffled By Parents' Plea To Return Home, Despite A Childhood Spent Preparing For Independence At 18

" I always knew that I would be expected to move out as soon as I reached 18 years old."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• June 23, 2023

Reaching the age of 18 often brings about a pivotal moment in a person's life, one that involves decisions about living arrangements. While some parents may encourage their children to remain at home for various reasons, it's important to acknowledge that there are situations where parents have other motives for wanting their child to move out of their parent's home at this age.

These motivations can stem from a range of factors, such as cultural norms, financial considerations, or personal dynamics within the family. OP, an 18-year-old male, was born to parents who initially planned to be child-free but kept him due to religious beliefs.

He had always known that he would have to move out at 18, so he saved money from a young age. His parents provided for him financially but were emotionally distant, though not abusive.

A week before his 18th birthday, they asked if he had found a place to live. He had planned to live with roommates but got an offer from a friend's family to stay in their basement for a low price.

He moved out the day after his birthday and hasn't heard from his parents since. Recently, his parents invited him back home, but he declined.

His mother cried, and his father scolded him, claiming their friends were shunning them because they had "thrown him out." OP stood by his decision, saying it wasn't his job to save them from their actions.

Now his extended family is criticizing him, and he wonders if he's in the wrong (AITA).

OP knew from a young age that he would be expected to move out as soon as he turned 18

An awkward dinner invitation ensued, where OP was asked to move back in without paying rent.

OP stood his ground, stating that it's not his responsibility to save them from the consequences of their actions

OP speculates that her parents initially supported her decision to move out, assuming she would be living with strangers, as it would appear she was striving for independence.

OP's parents are cold and mean, and it's best for OP to stay away

Parents prioritize their image with friends over OP's well-being

OP took the initiative to move out as requested by his parents and found greater happiness

OP's parent's actions have consequences they must face on their own.

OP doesn't need them and deserves a bright future

OP's parents' invitation for him to move back in seems motivated by appearances and social standing rather than a genuine desire

OP should pursue a happy life through work, studies, or whatever brings him joy.

OP shouldn't let guilt manipulate him

The lack of contact after moving out indicated their true feelings

OP's decision not to return home is justified, given the circumstances. It is important for OP to prioritize their own happiness and create a fulfilling life.

However, it is also crucial to maintain a positive relationship with their parents. While their parents may need to set aside their pride, it is in their best interest to make sincere efforts to repair the damaged relationship with their son.

Rather than worrying about societal judgments, both OP and their parents should focus on open communication, understanding, and forgiveness. Rebuilding trust and fostering a healthy bond requires humility and a genuine desire to reconcile.

By acknowledging their mistakes and working towards reconciliation, the parents can demonstrate their love for OP and create a stronger family dynamic. Ultimately, healing and rebuilding the relationship should be the primary goal for all parties involved.

Damjan