Daughter Refuses To Attend Parents' Second Wedding After Divorce Ruined Her Teenage Years

"All I could think of is that they made my teenage years so hard."

Sophia

• Published in Interesting
• June 22, 2024

Reuniting parents can be a bittersweet experience for their children, especially if the original separation left lasting scars. Imagine being 13 and watching your family fall apart.

The arguments, the custody battles, and the awkwardness of navigating two households can profoundly impact a young mind. Fast forward ten years, and those same parents decide to rekindle their relationship, expecting their child to be overjoyed and supportive.

But for someone who lived through the emotional rollercoaster of their parents' divorce, it’s not so simple.

In many cases, children of divorced parents build walls to protect themselves from the chaos, focusing on their own lives to cope. When those parents decide to get back together, it can feel like reopening old wounds.

The child may struggle with conflicting emotions, from lingering resentment to the fear that this reunion might not last. While the parents see it as a happy resolution, the child might view it as a reminder of past turmoil.

Being asked to play a significant role in the wedding, such as a bridesmaid or giving a speech, can add pressure. It’s not just about attending a celebration; it’s about confronting the pain of the past and reconciling it with the present.

In these situations, it’s crucial to consider the child's perspective and emotional wellbeing, recognizing that their feelings are valid and should be respected.

Just take a look at this...

OP, 23, has minimal contact with her parents after their drawn-out, traumatic divorce when she was 13.

Despite their efforts, she endured their chaotic divorce, altering her feelings toward them. She now focuses on herself.

Both parents dated others but reconnected and got engaged. They surprised her with the news at a family event.

They expected her excitement, but she remembered her tough teenage years. She congratulated them but warned nothing would change.

Her mom wanted her as a bridesmaid and speech-giver; she refused both and decided not to attend.

Parents are upset; they want family unity. Relatives urge her to attend, offering mixed opinions and advice to be forgiving.

She doesn't want to attend, feeling turmoil wasn't worth it. Scroll down to see what people had to say...

NTA - If they need a jury of relatives, they're the AH. Where were these cheerleaders during her drama?

NTA. "Be the bigger person" is code for "ignore your feelings and play nice."

NTA. A wedding invite from parents isn't a subpoena—she can RSVP "no" without guilt.

NTA. They had their drama. Now they expect her to erase it with a wedding? Nope.

Right!

NTA. They've moved on, but she's not ready. Being the bigger person means no eye rolls or snorts.

NAH. Her feelings are valid; skipping it isn't wrong. They want her there—it's family, not a funeral.

Wedding attendance isn't mandatory; supporting the couple's marriage is. No participation necessary, just RSVP.

NTA. Family ties don't make wedding invites obligatory. Her decision rules, no questions asked.

NTA. They should've briefed her before hitting play on the family reunion remix.

NTA. They thought she'd cheer for their encore? Sounds like they see her trauma as collateral.

NTA! Happy for them, but her skepticism is valid. She didn't choose their split or reunion.

She doesn't have to be the bigger person when her parent is the one acting small.

If her parents are reenacting Bennifer 2.0, she can joke about attending their vow renewal in 10 years.

Sometimes, family reunions can feel more like emotional reruns than fresh starts. As this family navigates their new chapter, maybe they should remember: some plot twists aren't meant to be rewritten. After all, not every sequel is a hit, and sometimes, it’s okay to skip the encore.

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Sophia