51 Parents Share Their Brutally Honest Views Regarding Their Regrets About Having Children

For some people, parenting is beyond hard.

May

• Published in Interesting
• September 25, 2022

Parenting is absurdly difficult. This leads to people thinking that it is a thankless job.

The things you do for your child's sake can be physically and mentally exhausting. Moreover, being a parent may also cause you to act in a manner that is inconsistent with your principles.

Fear and worry are two of the various emotions moms and dads frequently experience. While these individuals want to feel that parenting is one of life's most incredible blessings, not all people can think the same way.

This is especially true when their lives take a turn for the worse. Whether it's an unwanted pregnancy or a planned one, some children don't turn out the way their parents want them to be.

Over at Reddit is a thread asking parents to get real and share their experiences. Here's a question that garnered about five thousand responses:

Parents who regret having kids: Why?

The regrets of parenting are a very hard subject. Nonetheless, we feel that they need to be discussed.

In this post, we compiled some of the heaviest responses from the thread, hoping that people will be given the freedom to express their views.

You don't need to agree with their opinions or empathize with their experiences. These parents only want to let their feelings out.

1. The final sentence summarizes parenting as a whole.

I don't regret it completely. But it is not the glowing contentment some would lead you to believe. I don't look forward to tucking her in night cause by then I'm beyond exhausted and have already read her her favorite book 20 x today.

Shes 2 now and it's more like wrangling a monkey 24-7. Even the happiest monkey wranglers need a day off. Dont get me wrong: I love and respect her. But kids are not rational and reasonable.

I might feel better about it if our society recognized raising a child as worthwhile use of time. I choose to stay at home rather than let a daycare raise my child. I'm frequently asked when I'm going to "look for work". I know some of my friends look down on me because I'm putting family ahead of a slightly higher income.

Some people think it's funny to joke with me how I don't have to "go to work" and how I enjoy "so much free time".

if you go out in public, expect someone to have a rude comment or sneer no matter what parenting style you use to solve a problem. Be prepared to hear that no matter what you do, you're not parenting right.

expect not to be promoted or hired if you're female with a pregnancy or young children. Maybe it's not legal but labor laws being what they are, employers don't care. Miss too many of work due to a sick child and you may end up unemployed.

We are a lot worse off financially than some would have you believe. And this is a planned healthy pregnancy and us having money in the bank first. I wish the stupid parenting blogs would stop saying kids aren't that expensive. Do you know that daycare costs more than state college tuition in many parts of the country?

So, having kids is great -- if you want to work 7 days a week, be short on sleep, not be appreciated, be BROKE, and have strangers making judgments.

2. People change when they have kids.

I love my children more than anything else in this world. Words can not describe the type of love I feel for them. But at the same time, I do regret having them. I regret being the person that I have become as a parent. I was always carefree and spur of the moment.. now I'm careful and if plans aren't set in stone, they likely won't happen.

I always said I would never have children. I hate kids..I do. I am just not that type of nurturing person. I was always very careful to make sure protection was in use (condoms, birth control) but I am that .1% and apparently very fertile.

I do not have that natural motherly instinct that all women seem to have, you know..that one that kicks in the moment they know they're pregnant. I have to work really hard at it and it's exhausting. I miss my solitude and being able to "check out" of reality from time to time.

With all that being said, there is not a thing I wouldn't do for my children. They will always be my babies. They are amazing little creatures.

My boys play travel baseball and I wouldn't trade long nights at the ball fields for anything. Watching them play is one of the greatest joys in my life. Still, I often find myself wondering what life would be like without them.

3. It's hard to have kids with a woman you don't love.

Well, I mainly regret having kids because I'm in a relationship with someone I care very little for. I don't leave because I don't want my kids to be a burden on society. I don't want two little maladjusted devils let loose on society, I made the mistake so its my responsibility to deal with it.

I also don't leave because I know that if I do, then their quality of life will go down greatly. My wench of a mrs comes from a fairly whitetrash / chav / bogan family. Yes, Uncle dad and Aunty mom are in there, the father married the sister of her mother, so she's got brother/sister-cousins as well. Anyway, I know if I leave the old habits will return and the kids will end up suffering.

So I wait. I deal with the endless screeching from her, the illogical arguments ("I don't want you to waste money for a root canal! but I'm fine with you going on a holiday by yourself") the filthy house (throws rubbish on the floors, drives me up the wall.) and the disgusting weight gain.

I sit and study, I study my university subjects, I keep going with my language lessons, I plan my escape for when I feel the time is right and it won't be costly to the children.

Oh and I did discuss with my parents quite a while ago that I wanted to leave her. Did I get support? Oh no, I figuratively got thrown under a bus. They rang her and repeated what I told them while saying they'd support her over any decision that I made. I felt such a betrayal over that.

Edit: No, she doesn't work. Quoteth the jabba, "Too much hassle"

4. Some feel that having kids destroy marriages.

I feel like it has destroyed my marriage. Both of us have changed since our child was born and I'm afraid the people we've become are not as compatible as the people we used to be. We never talk to each other, we never do anything together, and the very, very infrequent sex is basically her attempt to maintain her ability to claim she makes an effort in our relationship.

Any communication that happens between us is about logistics regarding our child. I understand there is a brief period after birth where everyone needs to adjust but it has been over 4 years now.

I love my child more than anyone else on Earth, same for my wife. But I miss having a companion in life. If I had known it would be like this, I don't think I would have made the same decisions.

5. A husband isn't cooperating

I don't want to say I regret having kids but in a way, I do regret it. Our boys are wonderful but I don't get the help or support my husband promised. I wanted the husband, the kids, the works and my husband insisted he wanted the same thing.

He was the one who initiated the child conversation and said he wanted a big family. He insisted he wanted to be hands on. Now, we have our 2 and I hardly see him and he barely participates in their upbringing. I honestly don't know how we're going to get them potty trained because I work full time and I don't know that my husband will step up.

I feel horrible for our kids because I'm doing the best I can but they're not getting the life they were supposed to. My mental health is garbage and my husband doesn't care.

I love our boys but knowing what I know now, I don't know that I would choose to do it again. I have no intention of discontinuing my birth control until menopause.

6. Briefly escaping problems as a parent

As a parent, i feel the urgency to get drunk much more often.

7. For couples with disabled children, they always worry about the time they're gone.

My daughter was born mentally disabled. I alway tell myself it could be worse, that there are kids who just shake back and forth in wheelchairs... thing is she is happy now but has no concept of death and I can only imagine what it will be like when her mother and I are gone. She will be institutialized and abused probably.

8. Others feel that the great possibilities were stolen from them.

I wasn't ready to stop being selfish. I'm only two years in so it's still the intense stage, but parenting so far has just been relentlessly exhausting. I feel like having a kid closed off a lot of possibilities for me, definitely [took out] any semblance of spontaneity in my life.

9. This is a given when you have kids.

Sex. No sex whatsoever.

10. For this man, having a kid ruined his life.

I became a father when I was 19. The kid ruined my profesional life. I am now 25, stuck in a dead end job, live in a small appartment with her mother, who is now my wife.

I had a plan, I was in the army when my girlfriend got pregnant, after that I got a job with a travel agent as a guide, I was going to take a few years off school to travel the world, then I was going to get back to study.

I still love the child, and I have made two more. Figured when I started so early I should just go with it and get finnished early.

11. Parenting can be draining.

I can't say I "regret" having had kids, but I often think my life would be better had I not. Parenting is difficult under the best circumstances, but it's a roll of the dice.

If you have a child with medical or developmental problems it is a tremendous drain. I feel like I've aged about 20 years in the last 5, like I'm just a ghost of my former self.

12. Some parents feel that the kind of planning they did wasn't enough.

It's not that I regret having her, but if I could wrap her in cotton wool and bubble wrap, put her in a cupboard for ten years with the guarantee that I'll get the same child then I without a doubt would.

Parenthood is just not what I expected it to be. I mean people told me that you have to make sacrifices when you become a parent but because I had never really made any sacrifices before having her, I had no idea what that might entail or feel like.

I also thought I wouldn't mind missing out on all the partying and holidays because I would have the ultimate gift, a child but I have found that also to be untrue. I do mind missing out on the partying and holidays, and therefore I try to cram as much as that in as I can still, which makes my quality time with my child few and far between.

Yes I have her 5 nights a week, I feed her, bathe her, teach her, discipline her, put her to bed but I mean proper quality time I feel she misses out on because sometimes I have no desire as I'd rather be elsewhere.

I feel constantly guilty because I'm not putting my all in to be the best Mummy I could be, how I imagined myself to be and I feel she is missing out. Before I had her I always wanted 3 children, now 1 is enough for me, I don't want anymore.

Like I said I wouldn't use the word regret but if I could have taken a glimpse into what parenthood really, really is like before I fell pregnant, I would have been a lot more careful.

People can tell you but nothing can really prepare you for what it is really like. It is a 24/7 hands down the toughest most exhausting job ever.

13. It's like having a student loan all over again.

Because I feel like I'm in a continuous loop of servitude, wherein I can't even be myself. I feel like I'm working off a brutal student loan debt that the interest rate keeps increasing, and if I don't make prompt payments people's lives are at stake.

14. That's why parents are awesome.

Not regret, just it's easy without them. On the rare occasions my kids are on sleep overs a single evening can seem like a six week summer break due to not having issues with dinner, getting ready for bed and going to bed.

My youngest has night terrors so I think in the last decade or so, even after the baby crying in the night stage, we've had maybe twenty or thirty nights of unbroken sleep. It's just crazy the amount of time, money and energy you put into raising kids.

15. They were brought into a world full of hardships.

Definitely don’t regret having mine, they’re awesome and they make my life wonderful.

That said, I sometimes feel guilty about the world I have brought them into, and wonder about whether having kids in general (bringing innocents into a world where they will definitely suffer) isn’t immoral.

16. We just want to give this person a hug.

My daughter is severely disabled, to the point where she will never live a normal life. She can’t walk or talk, has a feeding tube and a wheelchair, is legally blind (she can see lights/shapes/colors, but that’s it) and has seizures from an unknown cause, and she’s 6.

I’d say her mental development isn’t much more than a few months/to a year old at most. If I’d known that she would be born this way (she starting having seizures at 3 weeks old) I would have had an abortion the moment I found out I was pregnant. She was planned and wanted, and I regret her every day.

Not that she isn’t a beautiful person, she’s got so much spunk and personality and she’s got my attitude, but I don’t think for a second that she deserves to live the life that’s been laid out for her. I wish I could do more for her.

17. Don't have kids if you feel that you need them to complete your life.

Because kids aren't the life completer we believe they are. Actually they take away from your quality of life daily. My kids are 13 and 11 and they STILL mess up my daily life.

Worst of all is I love them so much I couldn't do without them even though they disturb my peace all the time. I do not reccomend having children. Maybe one but not necessary. We perpetuate the species needlessly.

18. The challenges of having a kid with anxiety and depression

...got two kids... both teenagers now. The eldest has anxiety and depression... sometimes I wonder how my wife and I have managed to stay married through it all. We love both our kids more than anything, but having one with mental health issues is just exhausting.

You start to anticipate the crazy as you're driving home from work. Almost nothing gets her out of her moods, and it weighs heavy on all the relationships in the household. She does therapy and meds, and they help some, but it's like she's just hell bent on seeing the worst possible view of everything.

So then you imagine the life that this person you love is likely to lead, given this tendency, and it's just depressing. It gets hard to maintain hope.

"Regret" is a strong word, but if we could go back to when she was little and happy, and just stay there, it would be a lot better.

19. A mom who lost her 6 year old.

Late to the party but hey ho.

I was a mother of three. The things that are often mentioned about lack of sleep, autonomy, money etc. are all valid. And they last much, much longer than you expect and they can drive you to near suicide at times.

Especially when the second comes along and you're still not getting nearly enough sleep but now you have two on completely different schedules. But they do end, eventually.

But, and this is a big but, my biggest regret is my youngest, because she died at age 6. She had a brain tumour which made her blind and adversely affected her behaviour and she consumed my time and energy completely.

Her loss nearly destroyed our family. I would not know the pain that I still feel if she had not been born, and I would not experience the guilt of feeling that things, on a practical level anyway, are now easier without her.

20. You sometimes fear tomorrow as a parent.

When my kids were young, Columbine happened. I realized that I had brought kids into a terrible world. I regretted it for a long time.

Then they had heartbreak from young love, and I regretted it again.

I hated that me wanting kids of my own caused those kids to hurt in a way I couldn't protect them from.

But they've grown up to be happy, healthy independent adults and I'm very proud of who they have become.

21. If only we all were taught how to be parents.

50 years old, father of two. If I had it all to do over again, I would not. I was told it would be rewarding and worth it. Not worth it. Not rewarding. Just anxiety inducing, expensive, frustrating, worrisome, time consuming... all to make more people.

Love my kids, but I have learned after going through the whole process that 9/10 people should never become parents. We are poorly suited to supporting and raising others. There should be a test for a license or something.

22. Father feels his child is nothing but a stranger.

Throwaway for obvious reasons.

I don't care about my son.

I got my then gf pregnant by accident, and her being her Christian self didn't want to abort it. Our relationship was always off the wall, she always had plans for our "future", but I didn't even want to marry her, but I never told her.

Boom comes baby, I loved him to death since I first laid eyes on him. I bought him everything I could, everything was for him. GF has post partum depression and tells me she doesn't love me anymore, I tell her it's the depression talking, so we try to mend it.

A year later she cheats and leaves me, moves to 7 different states and takes baby. I try to track her down but in the end it was futile. I was heartbroken from her, and especially my son.

7 years later she goes back to live in my hometown and says she wants me to see my son (in the end it was only because she wanted child support). I had already moved on, made my career in engineering, got married, and we have a beautiful baby girl on the way.

She takes my son and we finally meet, it was really awkward and I didn't know what to say. He spends every other week with me, but it's like having a stranger in the house. It's been 2 years of this and I don't feel any connection to him.

He's a good kid, doesn't pull any tantrums, is respectful, loves his sister, but I just don't love him. It makes me feel guilty. I don't really regret him, per se, but to me, he just feels like an outsider from a life I tried to move on from.

23. Parenting with a mental illness is hard.

I regret having my son because of my mental illness. Not only does it make parenting a hundred times harder, I have this overwhelming feeling of guilt that my kid may inherit it. It's something I would never wish upon anyone, yet I unknowingly did it to the person I love most in the world (I wasn't diagnosed until he was 3.)

There are days where I can hardly take care of myself, and sometimes I'm resentful that I have to take care of him first. Thankfully I've been on meds/in therapy for a few years now and those days don't happen often, but it was so much harder when he was younger and needed me more.

I love him more than words can express and he's my favorite person in the world. As backwards as it seems, that's exactly why I regret it sometimes.

24. For this dad, one child is enough.

Parenting is a pain in the a**.

Anybody would tell you that I am a great dad and I love and care for my kid to no end.

But I absolutely am not having another one. They have a way of making your life about them. There are no days off.

I remember a time my wife and I could just leave at 3 in the morning to grab a snack. Not anymore.

We could fly to a different country without having to stay up on the whole plane ride with the kid. Have you ever had jetlag? That is some serious sleep and imagine not being able to get that sleep because your toddler is up and ready to go.

They are demanding. They need all your attention. They are expensive.

They are also cute and show you love and affection like nobody else. They are forgiving and often easily happy.

But I just know that I am not cut out for it. The one I have, I’ll give him the world. But I am not having any more.

25. Staying for the kids.

I don't regret having my kids but they sure make it difficult to leave my wife.

If it wasn't for them I would have left a long time ago...

26. After searching on Google, he found people in the same situation.

Although I've always loved being around kids (I was the guy playing with all the kids at any party) and they seemed to take to me, I knew I never wanted to have any of my own. Fortunately, my wife felt similarly... until she neared 40, and then went kind of crazy with this newfound unquenchable desire for motherhood.

We had trouble getting pregnant at that age, and rounds of IVF ensued; following several, one was successful, after huge time, financial, and emotional costs. Our son came along, and was healthy and quite adorable. Major success story from the outside, right?

I was immediately plunged into a seemingly endless spiral of resentment and depression (the real kind, clinical, requiring seeing a psychiatrist and going on medication). I knew at a profound level that I Did Not Want This.

It completely destroyed spontaneity and flexibility; everything needed planning, and our son like all very small children needed to be watched pretty much 24/7. All our friendships were put on hold, since getting out of the house even for planned things was difficult. Work and other obligations were missed whenever he got the sniffles.

As he grew, things got better, somewhat. There were all manner of pointless activities that he didn't care much about (karate, swimming, 20 other things), constant trips to school, play date planning, things that, as far as I can tell, nearly every parent dislikes, and only few are vocally honest about.

The therapist told me that this was much more common than I'd guess, but there was a huge taboo about saying you simply hated being a parent. So, I googled "I hate being a parent" and, Lo: it was all over the place. People overcome by tedium and regret.

27. Introverted parents have it rough.

I can pretty much echo everyone else's responses. It's even harder when you're a strong introvert. It's driven me into on again/off again depression. I've been on medication since our first one was born.

The 2nd one was a stupid mistake (plan B also didn't work). I've since got a vasectomy, although I should've gotten one after the 1st was born. Stuck with an infant and a toddler now. I'm also a father who stays at home, so that comes with its own societal b******t. I've been shopping at Target with my kid by myself and gotten comments like "It's just weird seeing a dad doing the shopping." Go f**k yourself.

28. You don't have as much freedom when you're a parent.

Losing so much of yourself, your partner, and your freedom is what's worst in the beginning, but as my children get older, I'm realizing how fatherhood has revealed the worst parts of my character. Petty, angry, short-tempered, remote...

I don't recognize the person I have become; I'm afraid I've been unequal to the task of parenthood, and in the process it turned me into less of a person.

29. Because the world is full of dangers.

It fills me with fear and worry about their future. It's like having your heart outside of your body. I don't want to live but I have to for their sake, and I know there's so much out there I can't protect them from.

30. A list of some problems that come with having kids

Destroyed marriage via:

* Forget passionate love make (it becomes a chore) when kids start walking

* The things you did together, you can no longer do, together, or very rarely

* The things you enjoyed individually, can not be replicated either

* Forget unwind time, personal space, etc...

* Over years people change, and nothing accelerates change as having another depend being (or three).

That's for the marriage bit.

Then there's work/life balance which goes out the f*****g door.

The stress at work, and the increasing stress of job market, you do not have the luxury of coming come to

dissipate. What happens is that you come home after a nasty, stressful day, and the stress is COMPOUNDED

with home/kids problems. Have that for years...

I love my kids, I'd STILL have them, but there are sacrifices people are not prepared for. I've seen marriages destroyed, homes destroyed, I've seen mental breakdowns, drugs usage, etc...

31. A single dad's story

I was trapped via pregnancy. Was dating a girl at the time and we had been on / off for awhile and things weren't looking good for us long term. Mostly because she was a compulsive liar but that's not the point here. She stopped taking her birth control on purpose in order to try to have a baby with me and it worked.

So now here I am almost 4 years later now single (she cheated on me with everyone, Eskimo brothers in here?) with an amazing son who I love dearly but I dream of my old life every day. Now I only get to see him on the weekends (I get him every weekend) so I get to work all week and then be a single dad on the weekends. I still get to do things during the week but I'm often depressed and stay home during that time because I miss my son.

I've never felt more alone

32. Taking care if babies is never easy.

I was trapped via pregnancy. Was dating a girl at the time and we had been on / off for awhile and things weren't looking good for us long term. Mostly because she was a compulsive liar but that's not the point here. She stopped taking her birth control on purpose in order to try to have a baby with me and it worked.

So now here I am almost 4 years later now single (she cheated on me with everyone, Eskimo brothers in here?) with an amazing son who I love dearly but I dream of my old life every day.

Now I only get to see him on the weekends (I get him every weekend) so I get to work all week and then be a single dad on the weekends. I still get to do things during the week but I'm often depressed and stay home during that time because I miss my son.

I've never felt more alone

33. Being a teenage parent

I don’t regret it per se, however I was pregnant with my first child when I was 19 (36 now) so I’ve lived my entire adult life being a parent. I’ve missed out on a lot and they’ve missed out on a lot with me not being ready and wise enough to be a good parent. It’s very exhausting and tiring. I used to spend a lot of time regretting having children, but I feel like I’m on the home stretch now. Almost. Having said all of this, I adore my kids with my all my heart and I have a super special relationship with my youngest. All in all I say parenting is like an elevator. It has its ups and downs.

34. A single mom's experience

I don’t regret it per se, however I was pregnant with my first child when I was 19 (36 now) so I’ve lived my entire adult life being a parent. I’ve missed out on a lot and they’ve missed out on a lot with me not being ready and wise enough to be a good parent.

It’s very exhausting and tiring. I used to spend a lot of time regretting having children, but I feel like I’m on the home stretch now. Almost. Having said all of this, I adore my kids with my all my heart and I have a super special relationship with my youngest. All in all I say parenting is like an elevator. It has its ups and downs.

35. Maybe we need a subject on parenting at schools.

I love my son, but I'm just not cut out for the single mom life. I had kind of a nervous breakdown a few weeks ago and now my family is finally helping out with him.

Before that it was 10 months with him, by myself, for 24 hours a day. I begged my family for help. Got nothing. So I lost it and tried to off myself. I just barely lived, and now they help with my son.

I hate myself for all this. I just hate myself so much.

36. Taking care of two kids who need your attention most of the time isn't easy.

This entire thread should be taught in high school sex ed. Most people don't realize what having a child is actually like. It is hard. It will change your life and relationships. It is not bad, people just need to have a more realistic understanding of what's involved.

I had son that was born when I was 18, he is now 11. I was a kid, I did not do well with parenting and correctly sacrificing to work with his mother. We lasted about a year after he was born. I still get to hang out with him every-other weekend and talk to him on the phone when I can. I am 30 now and have a 7 mo with a woman I love.

I was prepared this time. I learned everything I could about the birth process and newborns. I continue to learn every day. It is just amazing. Don't get me wrong, my wife and I are tired all the time, we don't have sex as often, or see our friends often enough but I was prepared for that. Life is a wonderful f****d up journey, educate yourself the best you can and do the best you can with the rest.

37. Parents have tons of worries.

I love my boys more than I ever thought I could. However... it's Saturday night and I'm covered in baby vomit with the baby refusing to sleep anywhere else but on me.

He will wake about 3 times between now and when the toddler wakes at 6am. I'm carrying 20kg more than I'm comfortable with and have no clothes that fit. I feel guilt for so many choices I make.

There are times I regret having my second baby because it's so hard to juggle the needs of two and still find time for my needs. People tell me it will get easier but for now, I'm hating it.

38. Love > Regrets

I'm a parent that mostly doesn't regret, but there's a constant stress. Money concerns are not fun, but there's a lot of other stuff too. Toddlers can choke or get kidnapped.

Older children can get molested. New drivers can die in a crash (happened a couple times at my high school). Teenage pregnancies. Seems like there's always something to worry about.

39. Some people were pressured by their partners.

I regret it because I'm miserable. Absolutely miserable. I feel like I got pressured into it by my wife. She wouldn't take no for an answer. Well we got f****d on the first pregnancy and had twins. Had only been married a year ish. After that my marriage went way past the s**tter and just got worse. After a while it got better and then she wanted another kid. I still didn't want the first two but I gave in. Now we have three. I'm even more miserable. I feel stuck and I can't please everyone. I work a s**t ton so my wife has them most of the time. Whenever I discipline them she screams at me because I'm not doing it her way. I'm constantly belittled by her and always told I'm doing something wrong. I actually hate my life. I've contemplated offing myself a few times but would feel bad for doing that to my kids. NOT my wife, my kids. I wake up every day hating myself, my life, and every f*****g choice I've ever made. If I could go back in time I would beat the s**t out of myself with a crowbar for even contemplating getting married. Literally would do anything to start over and be single for ever. I'm only 25 but I never would have thought I would hate life this much when I was 18.

40. Having children made some parents broke.

I regret it because I'm miserable. Absolutely miserable. I feel like I got pressured into it by my wife. She wouldn't take no for an answer. Well we got f****d on the first pregnancy and had twins. Had only been married a year ish.

After that my marriage went way past the s**tter and just got worse. After a while it got better and then she wanted another kid. I still didn't want the first two but I gave in. Now we have three. I'm even more miserable. I feel stuck and I can't please everyone. I work a s**t ton so my wife has them most of the time.

Whenever I discipline them she screams at me because I'm not doing it her way. I'm constantly belittled by her and always told I'm doing something wrong. I actually hate my life. I've contemplated offing myself a few times but would feel bad for doing that to my kids. NOT my wife, my kids. I wake up every day hating myself, my life, and every f*****g choice I've ever made.

If I could go back in time I would beat the s**t out of myself with a crowbar for even contemplating getting married. Literally would do anything to start over and be single for ever. I'm only 25 but I never would have thought I would hate life this much when I was 18.

41. An exhausted mom's challenges

Mother of a 19 month old here... I so get this... I'm worn out and beat down by my life. I'm a single mother. If it weren't for my mom footing almost every bill in my life, my daughter and I would be homeless and starving.

The basic facts: I can't work because child care is $400 a week and I can't find a job that will make 400 a week do able (working to put my kid in daycare and nothing else) getting a job would deem me ineligible for cash assistance and food stamps ($1200/mo income limit) and the state wouldn't pay my childcare so I couldn't continue going to college full time. The $569 in cash I get from welfare is immediately gone paying CC bills and regular bills (usually left with a negative balance my poor mother fills in the gaps) however I will say my food stamps are enough to get us through the month. I feel so stuck in my cycle I'm in.

I try so hard to get a "good" job, but Despite experience and education nobody thinks I'm good enough to answer phones for more that $16 an hour. In the silicone valley that's the lowest livable wage.

TLDR: I'm f*****g broke!

42. Getting married at a young age.

I had kids because it was expected in the religion I was raised in. Now I’m 31 with 4 kids ages 10, 9, 7, and 4. Left the religion but my 9 year old is disabled, completely nonverbal and in diapers. Will never be able to live independently. My youngest 2 have big speech delays. Honestly I’m just exhausted.

I didn’t start dealing with my mental health issues until a few years ago and now I’m in a better place but with the realization that I mentally probably shouldn’t have had kids. Or at least not so many. On my bad days I really wish I would’ve left the church after marrying my husband but before having kids.

It’s just so hard. I can’t ever let my guard down. Our house has multiple locks on every door, window, cabinet, fridge, you name it. My 9 year old has no concept of danger and will run off given any opportunity. One time the front door was left unlocked.

I went pee and he had left the house and gone to the neighbors house. And there’s no end in sight. This is my life now. Until I die. I will never ever let my kids see this side of me, they will always be loved and provided for. This is my s**t to deal with not theirs. Just a hard pill to swallow.

43. People with a mental disorder feel guilty when they pass it on to their children.

I will start by saying I never wanted kids. I was married at 20, had my first kid by 21, second kid by 22. First kid is out on his own.. And let me tell you his 18th birthday couldn't come fast enough so he could move out. Second kid is moderately to severely affected by autism. She will never hold a job or live on her own.

I never got to enjoy my 20's or 30's. I never will be able to take the amazing vacations that my friends all plaster Facebook with. I will never have free time with my husband because no one wants to watch an autistic low functioning 20 year old. Hell, there's not even leaving her at home alone for a few hours to go shopping or watch a movie or anything.

My husband had to quit his job to become a stay at home dad for her because there are no decent services for adults with autism. We had to move away from friends and family just to find a decent school for her. Kids take so much time and money and energy. Having a disabled one is even more physically and mentally draining.

I love my children. More than I can ever express. They never asked to be brought into this world. I have an obligation to care for my daughter because no one else will. There will never be an end for us as far as "raising" our kid then having her leave home so we can live our lives. I do become sad about missing out on things. Adventures and trips and vacations. But we modify our plans to include her.

We are lucky because our daughter is sweet and a lovely girl. I can't even imagine how hard life is for her. I at least am able to make my own choices, have friends, and work and love. These things are probably not going to be available to her. So I guess I don't really regret having kids, I regret having a child who has to live every day with autism. For her, not me.

44. A parent feels guilty for bringing a child who suffers from PDD into this world.

I love both my sons but if I could do it all again I wouldn't. I got pregnant young and did not know that I would pass my bipolar onto them. They both suffer from really bad depression. Trying to raise them when I was in and out of hospitals was hard and did them a disservice.

Now they are grown and they rarely make time for me. Mother's Day and my birthday is a quick text or mention on Facebook. My youngest tells me I'm the only family member that accepts him when he has mental issues but that's the only time I ever hear from him.

The oldest is even worse. I cry on a regular basis that I wish they would be closer to me.

Long story short I did my best but it didn't matter.

45. "What went wrong?" This is the question that some parents have when their child has lost their way.

My life turned into a living hell when my oldest son was a teenager.

He started using drugs at 14, he was arrested for breaking into cars at around the same age. Things continued to escalate and we had no control of him, we tried everything. He continued to use drugs, he sold drugs. The state of Florida has a law that the parents are responsible for the minor until the age of 18. He could not be emancipated because he was not financially independent and we couldn't afford to support him outside of our home. So we were forced to keep him in our home. It was 4 years of living hell, I had 2 breakdowns and our marriage was torn apart. He was a good kid until age 14, smart in school, and neither my husband nor I used drugs. There's no guarantee how your kid will turn out.

46. Having kids is costly.

My life turned into a living hell when my oldest son was a teenager.

He started using drugs at 14, he was arrested for breaking into cars at around the same age. Things continued to escalate and we had no control of him, we tried everything. He continued to use drugs, he sold drugs. The state of Florida has a law that the parents are responsible for the minor until the age of 18.

He could not be emancipated because he was not financially independent and we couldn't afford to support him outside of our home. So we were forced to keep him in our home. It was 4 years of living hell, I had 2 breakdowns and our marriage was torn apart. He was a good kid until age 14, smart in school, and neither my husband nor I used drugs. There's no guarantee how your kid will turn out.

47. Not everyone has maternal instincts.

I didn't realize that a maternal instinct is not universal. You know how you see parents in the delivery room and they are crying tears of joy? I felt nothing. Honestly, I could have left them at the hospital and it wouldn't have bothered me. I usually have no desire to spend time with them at all. I love them and have a strong sense of duty I just don't enjoy them or want to do any of the things they do. However I spent their whole lives going out of my way to care for them in every way a good mother should. My boys are well cared for and I am always here for them, but it feels very unnatural and fake and unenjoyable. It is a bit like a retail job you don't like where you put on a fake persona and slog through it the best you can. I don't get to leave this job, though. The worst is how I'm demonized for it. I've done eveverything I can for them for 16 years including all the extra curriculars (kids baseball is agonizing to fake enjoy I swear) and it has never been easy. Shouldn't I get more credit than those moms who love nothing more than spending time with their kids? That doesn't sound hard to me. Nope..I fail because I want my own life.

48. Parenting is a full-time job.

I didn't realize that a maternal instinct is not universal. You know how you see parents in the delivery room and they are crying tears of joy? I felt nothing. Honestly, I could have left them at the hospital and it wouldn't have bothered me.

I usually have no desire to spend time with them at all. I love them and have a strong sense of duty I just don't enjoy them or want to do any of the things they do. However I spent their whole lives going out of my way to care for them in every way a good mother should. My boys are well cared for and I am always here for them, but it feels very unnatural and fake and unenjoyable.

It is a bit like a retail job you don't like where you put on a fake persona and slog through it the best you can. I don't get to leave this job, though. The worst is how I'm demonized for it. I've done eveverything I can for them for 16 years including all the extra curriculars (kids baseball is agonizing to fake enjoy I swear) and it has never been easy. Shouldn't I get more credit than those moms who love nothing more than spending time with their kids? That doesn't sound hard to me. Nope..I fail because I want my own life.

49. Being a god and slave at the same time.

I think every parent regrets it at some point whether it's a flitting thought that is there and gone or a long conversation you have with yourself. Because it's f*****g hard work. I worked some shitty hard labor jobs when I was younger and none of them compare to being a parent, especially a full-time parent.

When you're up late cleaning puke out of the carpets for the fifth time in an hour; when you're running on 8 hours of sleep over the last three days and you feel like you just took acid to help with a hangover; when they're screaming bloody murder because you said they can't eat that cactus; when they purposely test the limits of your patience; when they're rude or ungrateful little shits despite living a life a thousand times better than you did.

It's as natural as the love you feel when they smile at you or laugh at something you did or cuddle up to you or do something for the first time and give you that feeling of "I did it, my human is humaning!"

You are a God to this tiny little person but you are also their Slave. It's easy to lose sight of yourself and/or your partner when you have this responsibility on your shoulders and it's easy to blame the kid for it.

Especially if you have kids too young. I was 26 when my son was born, and I had a lot of fun in those years of child-free adulthood. A lot of f*****g fun. And literally every person I know who had a kid before 21 has turned out to be a shitty parent, because they never get to experience being an adult.

Anyway, I got too high while writing this and forgot my point.

50. Some parents feel the need to remind themselves that they love their children.

Some days it's hard not to regret it. I have a 6 year old with severe ADHD (brain trauma at birth), and an autistic 4 year old still in diapers. My wife is active military and I had to leave a very lucrative job to take care of them. I love them, but occasionally I have to chant that to remind myself that I do.

51. Every day life is hard for parents with a special needs child.

All you need is a special needs kid to think something along the lines of "I wouldn't want him to die or anything, but if I could go back to before he was conceived I'd do things differently."

As you can see from the responses in the Reddit thread, parenting is exhaustingly challenging. Parents not only worry about their kids all the time, but they also regret bringing them into this world because of the hardships they face.

And as moms and dads, they have to push through life, even if they have nothing more to give.

May