Understanding Girlfriend Lashes Out At Her Conservative Parents For Unearthing Juvenile Records Of Her Bisexual Fiancé

They want her to break the engagement off because of her fiancé's past

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• July 19, 2023

A couple's engagement is typically a reason for their loved ones to celebrate. For this couple's family, it's the best time to do a background check.

This post is straight out of a daytime drama. The OP's fiancé got caught kissing a football player when he was 13 years old.

His parents kicked him out of the house because of his sexuality. He was homeless and did a lot of shady things to survive.

He got addicted to alcohol and drugs until one of his aunts found him. She took him in, encouraged him to be sober, and got him into therapy.

He and OP met in college. Her conservative parents never approved of their relationship.

They didn't want their daughter to date a nail-polish-wearing-motorcycle-riding-fem-bisexual guy. Nevertheless, their relationship flourished.

He recently proposed to her. OP said she's never been this happy despite her parents' critical view of their relationship.

They visited OP one weekend after the engagement. OP thought they were there to ask her about the milestone and their wedding but she was way off target.

Her parents revealed that they did a background check on her fiancé. They have connections in law enforcement and found his juvenile records.

They saw his drug and alcohol charges. They were also made aware of the other arrests related to the shady stuff he did to survive.

They asked OP to break off the engagement because her fiancé is not a good influence on her. They suspected he was using her for his own gain.

OP cursed her parents out and told them off for violating her fiancé's privacy

She said they were terrible people for what they did. Her siblings said OP overreacted because their parents are just trying to protect her.

IF her fiancé's juvenile records were sealed, then her parents will face something other than OP's anger

If they were, in fact, sealed, then the law enforcement connection is also in a lot of trouble

However, juvenile records aren't automatically sealed. If they are not, they can be viewed by anyone willing to pay a fee. Legally, they're on the clear. Morally? OP's parents don't have those.

OP now knows what kind of people her parents are. She can make better boundaries for them if they stay in their lives.

It's ridiculous that they thought they had any say about OP's choice of spouse

It was none of their business. OP obviously knows about her fiancé's past and understands why he did what he had to do. Her parents' opinions are just noises for OP to ignore.

OP knows who she's marrying. She loves her fiancé for who he is and doesn't hold his past against him. Their relationship seems to have a good foundation.

OP's parents are gunning for this future with the way they are acting

Will they also run background checks on the significant others of their other children?

Is OP's fiancé aware of what her parents did?

They think he is a bad influence on OP because he doesn't conform to society's standards of what a man should be

OP can give her parents a taste of their own medicine. See how they like it then.

OP reacted calmly, considering what her parents did. What they did was a breach of trust, and they would be lucky if OP even invites them to the wedding, let alone allow them back in her life.

OP should focus on what's important. Her family's opinions should not diminish the great happiness she is experiencing with her fiancé.

Chelsi