Parents Call Sons Into Family Meeting To Discuss Their Distant Sibling Relationship, Get Upset When Their Oldest Complied With Their Request For Brutal Honesty

"Your parents set up the meeting and its expectations; they shouldn't be surprised that they got what they wanted - they just didn't want what they got."

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• November 5, 2023

A 16-year-old was subjected to a family meeting with his two younger siblings by their parents. The meeting was called because their parents noticed the distance between the siblings.

Their parents said they didn't see the tight-knit family they aspired to have. They reminisced about how close OP and his siblings were when they were children.

Although they share a room, OP and his 14-year-old brother, James, aren't as close as they used to be. OP preferred to spend time with their 12-year-old brother, Easton, more than he did with James.

Their parents asked the siblings to be open and honest about why they thought their relationships turned out this way. They asked them to speak about any family issues they thought got in the way of them forming a stronger bond.

They promised to remain silent until all three siblings spoke. No one was allowed to leave the meeting until they shared their thoughts.

OP spoke first and told his parents they had unreasonable expectations. He told them it was weird that they acted clueless about the distant relationship in their family when they ignored the issues that were previously brought up.

He admitted that he hated sharing a room with James. Their personalities clashed, and OP felt James leveraged being the younger brother to get his way.

James only wanted to do the things he enjoyed and ignored how OP felt about the impromptu campings/movie nights in their bedroom.

He started acting this way when he was 8. Hanging out with him has been a chore for OP since then.

He hated hanging out with James and his friends. OP told their parents he would rather share a room with Easton.

OP told his parents that this shouldn't be news to them. He complained about James deliberately messing up his side of the room before. Their parents made OP clean it. He told them that James got away with bullying Easton. They wouldn't stand for it if OP spoke to James the way James did to Easton.

OP reminded their parents that they were older than how they treated them. James got upset over the things that OP said about him. Their parents were furious and told OP he had no right to speak the way he did. OP said he just did as they asked.

Their parents asked for honesty. OP complied with that wish and did it respectfully.

Don't ask for honesty when you're not prepared for the answer

They put their children on the spot. It's not OP's fault that he answered truthfully when the situation called for it.

They wanted their children to feel guilty for their distant relationship

They didn't think OP would be so perceptive. Instead of blaming himself and his siblings, he pointed out their parents' expectations and choices that caused them to drift apart.

Since they still treat them like small kids, they didn't expect them to have their own thoughts and feelings

It's time for OP's parents to face the reality that their children are growing up into their own persons

The change in their sons relationship took the parents by surprise because they didn't see an issue with their parenting. They made a normal part of adolescense into an unnecessary issue.

If their parents truly want a healthier relationships with and among their sons, they should consider going to a family counselor

The parents are doing the exact same thing OP complained to them about. They are ignoring the root of the issue and blaming it all on him.

It is probably easier to use one child as a scapegoat instead of facing your shortcomings as a parent. OP has shown more emotional maturity than his parents — that should be enough reason for them to do better.

Chelsi