Parentified Teen Says Enough Is Enough, Asks Parents To Take On More Responsibility

"Even when in the house my parents shift all the responsibility on to me."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• September 11, 2023

As teenagers, we often find ourselves navigating the challenges of balancing family responsibilities with our desire for personal space and social lives. One young girl, OP of this story (16F), recently faced a dilemma that many can relate to.

OP is the proud older sibling of three younger ones, including twin brothers and a sister, all under the age of 10. She is more than willing to help out and watch over them when her parents need assistance. However, a recent trend has caused her growing frustration.

Her parents, at times, extend their absence for hours when they leave her in charge. This has often clashed with her plans to spend time with friends or engage in activities she enjoys. What's more, even when her parents are at home, they seem to shift the majority of the childcare responsibilities onto her, leaving her feeling overwhelmed.

Last week, OP decided to confront her parents about the situation, especially when she had long-standing plans to celebrate a friend's birthday. When her parents asked her to babysit once again, she explained the importance of the occasion and expressed her frustration. In response, she was met with accusations of selfishness.

So, OP is wondering if she is wrong for wanting a better balance between her family responsibilities and personal life.

OP is a 16-year-old with three younger siblings. When her parents are away is her job is to take care of them, which is becoming increasingly frustrating

OP had made plans with friends to celebrate a special occasion, but her parents asked her to babysit her siblings at the last minute so they could go out for drinks

OP still plans to babysit her siblings because she loves them, but she would like more notice in advance so she can adjust her plans if needed.

OP could request payment for her babysitting services, including retroactively for past hours, to either ensure fair compensation or encourage their family to find a professional babysitter if that's the role they want them to play.

The responsibility for their children lies with the parents, not the person being asked to babysit

A teenager should not be solely responsible for taking care of younger siblings

If the parents need a break, they should hire a babysitter or seek help from other adult family members.

OP's parents are selfish

The parents need to realize that the care of the kids is their responsibility, not OP's

OP needs to set clear boundaries and not sacrifice her own time and life because of her parents' choices

It's unfair to OP to be asked to cancel plans last minute due to family disorganization

It's clear that OP isn't doing anything wrong by wanting a better balance between her family duties and her own time. It's totally okay for her to want some free time to hang out with friends and do things she enjoys. This is important for her well-being.

To make family life more fair and balanced, OP should talk openly and honestly with her parents. Sharing how she feels is really important. She's not trying to avoid her responsibilities as an older sibling; she just wants a better way to handle taking care of the younger kids in the family.

One way to do this could be by making a schedule for when she'll babysit or by giving her a heads-up ahead of time when they need her help. These are practical solutions that can help.

Parents should also understand that their kids need time to have their own lives and interests outside of the family. This is a normal part of growing up.

OP's wish for a better way to handle family responsibilities is totally okay, and she should have an open talk with her parents to find a solution that lets her enjoy her free time while still being a helpful sibling.

Damjan