Paranoid MIL Wants To Sleep At Her DIL's Place During Her Son's Absence, Suspecting Infidelity, DIL Prepares To Reject Her Offer

"I will tell her I'm unavailable if she trys to weasel her way in."

Filip

• Published in Interesting
• November 29, 2023

Every mother wants to protect her child from everything and everyone. But, sometimes, mother's initial need for protection is exaggerated to the extent that they also see their partners as a threat.

This is a story about a mother-in-law who wants to ensure that her daughter-in-law is the right choice for her son, but no one asked her to do so. The OP shared that her spouse frequently travels for work, and every time he does, the OP's MIL contacts the OP.

This pattern is evident because the MIL does not reach out when the OP's spouse is home, showing a weird interest only during his absence. The MIL persistently attempts to pressure the OP into allowing her to stay overnight, disguising her insistence as a gesture of companionship.

She implies that the OP must feel frightened alone, ignoring the OP's prior experience of living independently before the marriage. The MIL's approach often involves unexpected late-evening calls, where she intrusively asks about the OP's immediate activities and assertively suggests she should visit rather than politely asking for the OP's permission.

The OP suspects that these actions originate from the MIL's desire to catch the OP in some compromising situation during her spouse's absence, possibly fueled by paranoia. This suspicion is based on a previous incident where the MIL overstayed her welcome early in the OP's relationship.

As the spouse's next trip approaches, the OP expects a repeat of this behavior. Although the spouse has offered to intervene, the OP has chosen to handle the situation alone.

The OP plans to firmly decline the MIL's advances, expressing a desire to handle the matter without always relying on her spouse's intervention. The spouse, who maintains strict boundaries with the MIL, supports the OP's decision, but the OP feels a sense of guilt for frequently depending on the spouse to manage these situations.

The original story:

The OP explained her MIL calls her only when her husband is out of town:

The OP further explained her MIL's weird pattern:

She believes the MIL wants to 'catch' her in something:

The OP's husband always handles MIL's intrusive behavior, but this time, the OP has decided to do it herself:

No way, stay strong OP

"I'm so happy to read you and your husband are a team."

Thank you for the offer, but I'll pass

Or simply ignore her

A Redditor is curious if MIL tries to make her way to start living with them

Just don't answer her calls, and the problem is solved

"Basic rules his circus his monkeys."

The OP should be direct with her

Redditors advised the OP to stop answering her MIL's calls. It's the simplest way to handle the problem.

Another solution is to let her husband handle her again because it's his mother, and the OP should not waste her energy on her. Or, if she decides to talk with her MIL, she should be direct; that way, MIL will surely understand that her behavior is intrusive.

Filip