Bride-To-Be Bizarrely Accuses Her Pakistani Friend Of Lying About Her Job Saying "Someone Like Her" Could Never Be A Software Engineer
Things you can expect during an engagement party: happiness, celebration, and champagne. What you shouldn't expect during an engagement party: being scolded by the bride-to-be because she thinks you're lying about your job and then being accused of taking the attention away from her.
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OP (original poster) recently went to an engagement party for her boyfriend's best friends, Nell and Alex. During the party OP found herself immersed in a conversation with an older lady who happened to be Alex's aunt.
The aunt noticed OP's iron ring immediately because she was wearing one herself. In Canada, an iron ring is presented to an engineer once they finish their degree.
OP was asking Alex's aunt about her career and what field of engineering she works in. The newly engaged couple came over while the conversation was going on.
OP congratulated them on their new relationship milestone then she and the aunt went on with their conversation. Nell piped up asking, "Why are you lying about being an engineer? Don't you work at Victoria's Secret or something?"
OP was baffled but confirmed that she used to work at that store while she was studying but she has since finished her degree and now works as a software engineer. To which Nell replied, "No, you don't. Stop lying."
Everyone heard and the happy event quickly turned awkward.
OP's fiancé came over and greeted everyone while Nell continued her odd accusations. She was telling everyone that OP was lying about her job as a software engineer and that her fiancé should stop enabling her lies.
OP didn't hesitate to tell Nell to stop what she was saying because she would never lie about her job. Especially, since she worked so hard to get to where she is now.
Nell got even more upset and accused OP of making their party all about her. Even worse, she said that someone like OP could never be a software engineer.
OP's fiancé asked Alex if Nell was drunk or not because her behavior is way out of line. They then left the party early.
OP has since been bombarded by calls and messages from Nell's friends calling her a b*tch. OP's fiancé got a call from Alex asking them to not make a big deal out of the unexpected confrontation.
OP's fiancé said that they won't be speaking to the newly engaged couple again until Nell apologizes to OP. You can read the full original post below:
"Why are you lying about being an engineer?"
"Someone like you cannot be in that field of work."
People were speculating in the comments section about the reason of Nell's sudden outburst
Is it jealousy? Is it racism?
Could it be stereotypical sexism?
Maybe there's some truth to the jealousy and sexism part
This is getting interesting
Could it be that Nell dreams of being an engineer herself but couldn't?
A sleuth redditor says it could be all of the above based on OP's post/comment history
Unthinkable in this day and age!
OP posted an update a day later to, first, acknowledge everyone's kind words towards her and then to share what happened during a phone call with Alex.
OP says that she and her fiancé are both POCs while Nell and Alex are white.
Nell is unemployed. The fact that OP used to work at a place like Victoria's Secret coupled with the way she presents herself could only mean she can't be an engineer; at least to Nell, that's how the world works.
Alex called OP's fiancé to ask when OP will apologize to Nell
OP's fiancé was upset and pissed by this saying that OP has no reason to apologize to Nell because what happened was all Nell's fault. Alex must have been on speakerphone because they suddenly heard Nell complaining.
She said OP made a scene and made Nell look bad in front of her future in-laws. She also apparently didn't know that OP had finished her engineering studies.
OP asked Nell why did Nell claim that OP was lying about her career
Nell replied that she didn't think OP could finish her degree and assumed she dropped out. OP was massively pissed and asked what Nell meant by that to which she replied, OP just seemed like the type.
OP said that Nell seemed like the type of woman who tears down other women
Nell yelled at OP about her attitude, the way she dresses, her make-up, and, lowest blow of all, how OP's parents would react if they knew she wasn't a "good little Pakistani girl." OP was taken aback by the last (racist!) statement.
That was a light bulb moment for OP and her fiancé
They finally heard the proof that the bizarre attack was racially motivated. OP said her parents are proud of her.
It was at that point that her OP's fiancé told Alex that what Nell said was messed up. He told Alex to stop contacting them then hung up and they blocked the couple from every channel.
OP finally realized that Nell has always been racist towards her
Nell doesn't sound like a good person at all. The things she said after OP called her out? Unacceptable!
It's a good thing OP has a supportive fiancé
Nell can't spin this anymore because she is very much a racist
To weaponize OP's strict parents against her was also below the belt
Nell has no idea what OP and other women POCs had to go through. For her to casually threaten her was so sickening.
Nell underestimated OP's courage. Good on OP for standing up against a racist person like Nell.
It was funny learning that Nell is unemployed and was so quick to judge OP's career
As if women don't have it hard enough
That's one word to sum this all up: bizarre
Your life can only be better from here, OP
Cutting her off now means she can't ruin OP's wedding
If Nell didn't open up her mouth, she could have had a wonderful engagement party surrounded by loved ones. On the other hand, the weird incident revealed a racist in OP's midst.
It was good riddance. A person like Nell and, by extension, Alex, are not people you want to keep in your life anyway.
OP and her fiancé did such a good job setting up boundaries and enforcing them. We wish them blissful engagement and happy marriage!