Woman Nervous As Partner's Old Flame Turns Out To Be Best Friend

" He said they hooked up a few years ago and have tried to have a relationship but decided against it."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• February 7, 2024

In new relationships, the discovery of a partner's past romantic entanglements can sometimes cast a shadow on the brightest of beginnings. This is the crux of a dilemma faced by a woman, who shared her fears on Reddit.

OP has been dating this man for almost 2 months, so yes, it is still fairly fresh, but it has been going incredibly well. She's never felt so attracted to someone, loves spending time with him, and can envision a future with this person.

Tonight, OP just found out that he has slept with his best friend, with whom he's been close since elementary or middle school. He explained that they hooked up a few years ago and attempted to pursue a relationship but decided against it.

The best friend was then involved with someone else for several years, but after their breakup this summer, she wanted to hook up with OP's boyfriend, and this continued for a few months. OP has met this girl a few times (they've gone on double dates), and she likes her.

However, now she can't help but 1. Think about their past together, and 2. Feel concerned that if they ever had a disagreement or broke up, they would immediately reconnect.

OP is seeking advice on how to navigate these feelings, handle similar situations, and establish boundaries moving forward.

OP is in a promising relationship with a man she has been dating for almost two months and is optimistic about their future together.

OP found out that her partner and his best friend had a past relationship, and despite trying to make it work, they ultimately decided against it, but they reconnected and stayed in touch for a few months.

OP is worried that if they ever have a disagreement or break up, he might rekindle things with his ex.

OP seeks advice on dealing with emotions, similar experiences, coping strategies, and establishing boundaries.

It's understandable to have reservations about maintaining that kind of relationship.

Considering their long-standing relationship, setting boundaries might not significantly change things.

She'll stay on OP's mind and cause trouble as long as she is around.

The issue is the fact that after her failed attempt at dating, she quickly turned to him for comfort after breaking up.

It's best to end the relationship.

They've crossed a line that can't be undone.

It is like a disaster waiting to happen.

Dating someone who still spends time with their ex-lover is not advisable.

It's understandable for OP to feel uneasy about dating someone who's had a fling with their best friend. Even if she tries to set rules, that best friend will likely keep popping up and causing drama. The big problem here is that the best friend turned to OP's partner for comfort right after a breakup. It's like they're playing with fire, and it's not a good idea to keep going down that road.

It might be smarter for OP to think about ending the relationship altogether. Once lines like these are crossed, it's hard to go back, and dating someone who still hangs out with their ex is just asking for trouble.

Damjan