College Student Doesn't Want To Visit Parents Because Of Her Brother, They Call Her Selfish

"I've never had them so upset with me before."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• September 8, 2023

In the pursuit of higher education, many young adults choose to distance themselves from their families to gain independence and explore the world. It's a common rite of passage. For one young woman, OP, this journey is not just about gaining an education but escaping the torment of a challenging family dynamic.

OP, a first-year university student, recently made a bold decision: she chose a university 4000 kilometers away from her family home. The reason behind this choice isn't a quest for adventure but rather a desperate need to escape a situation that has plagued her life since childhood.

OP's brother has Oppositional Defiant Disorder, a condition characterized by defiant and disruptive behavior, particularly in response to authority figures and rules. Living with her brother has been a nightmare, affecting every aspect of her life.

Homeschooling lost friendships, strained relationships with neighbors, and her mother giving up her job are just some of the sacrifices OP's family has made to cope with her brother's condition.

Now, away at university, OP yearns for a life free from the constant turmoil that her brother's presence brings. Despite her newfound independence, OP finds herself at odds with her parents, who expect her to return home for an extended summer break.

The dilemma OP faces raises complex questions about familial responsibility and the pursuit of personal happiness. Is it wrong for her to distance herself from a challenging family situation, even if it means causing distress to her parents?

OP is at the university, which is 4000 km away from her family

OP's brother has oppositional defiant disorder His behavior led to homeschooling, social isolation, financial strain, and strained relationships. Despite professional treatment, the issues persist

OP has decided not to go back to her parents' home, It's because of her difficult brother, and they're upset about it.

It's essential that OP doesn't allow her parents to manipulate her emotions and make her remain engaged in this harmful situation

OP has the right to assert her individuality and establish boundaries with her family

OP is financially independent, paving her own way through college and beyond

As an adult, OP has the autonomy to decide whether or not to visit her parents

In this situation, OP is not the one in the wrong

Staying 3 months in that environment sounds bad for OP's mental health

OP is now an independent adult, free to live life on her terms

OP's parents might expect her to be a buffer or babysitter

OP has every right to distance herself from the home situation.

OP's choice to move away from her family for her own mental and emotional well-being is a courageous decision. We should remember that while her parents care about her, OP is grown up now and has the right to decide how to live her life.

We need to know that when someone in the family has a condition like oppositional defiant disorder, it can cause problems for everyone, not just the person with the condition.

Damjan