Couple Ignites Debate After Refusing To Adopt Their Nieces Who Were Placed Into The Foster System

They claim their nieces would be "better off" in the foster system, but will they really?

Kylin

• Published in Interesting
• April 1, 2023

Parenting is definitely not for everybody. It’s never-ending, often thankless, work to raise a decent human being, and while it can be so rewarding, it’s also draining.

It’s why I don’t bat an eye when someone mentions not wanting children, or being child-free. The awareness to know that the responsibility of caring for and raising children isn’t for you is excellent, even if that “awareness” is that children annoy you.

I believe every person should be able to make the decision for themselves whether or not they have children. However, I stumbled upon a situation on Reddit’s AITA (Am I The A-hole) forum that had me second-guessing that stance. 

User DollaLife shared the unfortunate series of events that led to her Mother-in-Law asking her and her husband to adopt their two young nieces. They turned to AITA for judgment after she and her husband declined to adopt the girls, leaving them to be cared for by the local foster care system.

Commenters had very strong opinions about this scenario, and this post definitely ignited some passionate debates between users. Grab some popcorn and keep scrolling to read the full story and the top responses we collected to share with you.

OP and her husband are young newly weds who have two nieces under the age of 10

Sadly, the girls were recently placed into foster care after OP's sister-in-law died

For obvious reasons, OP's Mother-in-Law wants to keep the girls out of foster care and within the family, and has been trying to get OP and her husband to adopt the girls

They talked it through but decided they weren't going to adopt their nieces, somehow thinking they would be "better off" in foster care

An actual foster parent chimed in

How terrible must OP and her husband be for foster care to be considered a better option?

Setting boundaries is fine and good, but thinking foster care is a better option is not

Don't kid yourself

It just sucks all around

OP trying to sugar coat it for herself makes it worse

It's a tragic situation with no "right" answer

OP is doing it for herself

I fully agree with this one

MIL should try to care for the girls as long as she can

All the adults in those kids lives have failed them

You can set a boundary and still be an A-hole

I hope that OP isn't really that oblivious

The statistics on abuse in the foster care system are awful

Children are consistently hurt by the foster sytem

Why isn't OP's husband having these conversations with his parents?

OP is lying to herself and everyone else to make herself feel better about their decision

Only having a safe environment would still make a big difference

Everyone in this situation sucks

The young kids are in a lose/lose situation

100% Heartless

OP really doesn't paint herself in the best light

Put it like that, she does sound like a monster

OP is making the right call for herself

A sad, but true, point

The girls were failed long before this happened

How is there no one in their family able to help?

Overall, I agree with the majority of responses: OP wasn’t wrong for setting a boundary, but it’s possible to set a boundary and still be an a-hole.

While OP and her husband were in an awful position to make such a decision, it’s hard to believe her in-laws couldn’t figure out something else to keep the girls in the family.

Tell us in the comments section what you think about OP’s situation and what you’d do in their position.

Kylin