Teenage Girl Stands Firm Against Cousin's Request To Lend Her Brand New Dress, Backed By Supportive Parents

"I was being nice to lend her a dress, she doesn’t get to demand it be the new one."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• February 27, 2024

Family gatherings, especially formal ones, can be a melting pot of expectations, traditions, and sometimes, unforeseen conflicts. They are occasions that are meant to bring people together, yet they can also highlight the differences and inequalities within family structures.

The story of a 16-year-old girl caught in a dress-sharing dilemma with her step-cousin Jen brings to light problems between generosity, fairness, and personal boundaries within a family setting. OP finds herself in a predicament as her family prepares for a formal event.

It has been a long-standing tradition for OP to lend her formal dresses to her step-cousin Jen, whose father's financial situation has made it difficult for her to afford new ones. This arrangement was born out of necessity and kindness, with OP's mother playing a pivotal role in ensuring Jen had something nice to wear.

However, as both girls have stopped growing and the wardrobe exchanges have become more routine, OP bought a new dress specifically for this occasion, expecting to lend Jen a different one from her collection.

The conflict arises when Jen expresses her desire to wear the new dress instead, arguing that she's tired of only getting to wear hand-me-downs and seeking the chance to shine in something fresh. OP's refusal, based on her excitement and attachment to the dress, sparks a heated argument, eventually dragging the adults into the fray.

The disagreement escalates, revealing underlying tensions about fairness, entitlement, and responsibility. OP is left wondering if her stance on not sharing the new dress is causing unnecessary family discord despite her parents' support for her decision.

OP's whole extended family will attend a formal event soon.

OP and her step-cousin Jen are of similar age and due to financial constraints in her family, Jen lacked many possessions, so OP's mom frequently gave her OP's old belongings instead of discarding them.

Now that they are older and not growing, OP simply lends the dresses to Jen.

OP planned to give her a dress for an upcoming event, but she preferred to borrow the new dress OP had prepared.

She expressed frustration about always wearing hand-me-downs and wanted to wear a new dress, but OP declined.

OP's parents supported her, but Jen's dad disagreed, suggesting OP wear another dress so Jen could have the special one.

OP suggested buying the dress instead of taking it from others, which caused an argument between the parents, and OP wondered if she should have just lent Jen the dress.

OP wants to wear the dress she loves, but her parents don't approve, causing tension.

OP's stance on keeping the dress is justified, and it's great that her parents support her.

OP can suggest that if the girl's parents are concerned, her mother should learn to sew and alter it.

Jen's dad and Jen are being unreasonable.

OP should stop lending dresses to Jen.

It's not OP's fault Jen doesn't have new clothes; the blame is on her parents.

OP's dress is OP's.

Other family members, such as the grandparents, could contribute to a new dress.

OP shouldn't give up new clothes to a cousin, despite her unfortunate circumstances, due to her outrageous sense of entitlement.

OP has the right to keep her new dress, and it's cool that her parents have her back on this. She's been nice enough to lend her step-cousin Jen dresses before, but things have changed now.

Jen and her dad are kinda being pushy by asking for OP's new dress, especially since Jen's acting like she deserves it just because. If Jen's family is worried about her clothes, they should try fixing them themselves instead of relying on OP.

OP shouldn't feel bad for not handing over her new stuff to Jen, especially when Jen's acting like she's owed it. It's not OP's job to make sure Jen has new clothes; that's up to Jen's parents to figure out.

From now on, OP might want to think about not lending clothes to Jen anymore. If other family members want to help Jen out with a new dress, that's up to them.

The main thing here is that OP needs to do what's best for her and not let anyone make her feel bad about it. It's important to stand up for yourself, even if it means saying no to family sometimes.

Damjan