Redditor Asks If She Is Wrong For Not Wanting To Learn Sign Language For My Son's Fiance

"Trevor in all this time hasn't seem bothered by it so I just didn't think it was worth it. "

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• May 29, 2023

Recognizing the value of inclusive interactions and understanding the needs of deaf individuals can lead to rewarding relationships. When faced with a situation where someone closes, like your son's boyfriend, is deaf and you lack knowledge of sign language, you may question the importance of learning this unique form of communication.

While it may not be obligatory in every circumstance, taking the initiative to comprehend and accommodate the needs of deaf individuals can foster an inclusive environment and deepen your connection with them. In the case of OP, her son Ricky (21M) has been in a long-term relationship with Trevor (20M) since their teenage years.

Trevor, who is deaf, previously served as the drummer in Ricky's band. From the beginning, Ricky expressed a desire for OP to learn sign language.

However, due to Ricky primarily residing with his father and OP's frequent work-related travels, opportunities for meaningful interactions were limited. Now that Ricky and Trevor are engaged, Ricky strongly urges OP to learn sign language.

During a recent conversation, Ricky revealed that Trevor had misconceptions about OP's feelings towards him and deaf people in general. Trevor believed that OP harbored dislike or had issues with deaf people due to the lack of effort in learning sign language and the limited time spent together.

As a result, OP contemplates whether she is at fault (AITA) for not investing more effort in acquiring sign language skills and dedicating quality time to building a stronger relationship with Trevor.

Son urged parents to learn sign language, but due to distance and work commitments, limited interaction occurred

OP didn't prioritize learning sign language because Trevor didn't seem bothered before

Reluctance to learn sign language for future son-in-law raises questions about acceptance and relationship with son

OP not making any effort to learn sign language despite their son and his fiance being together for several years

Learn sign language

Making a slight effort to learn basic sign language phrases can significantly improve communication and is a reasonable request

He will be soon part of family

Learning sign language is the bare minimum needed to communicate with future son-in-law

Failure to address this issue may result in strained relationships and potential estrangement.

Put in the effort to learn sign language

Not making an effort to learn would be considered inconsiderate

Lack of effort to learn sign language sends a negative message and can strain relationships

Embracing inclusivity and making an effort to understand and accommodate the needs of deaf individuals can greatly enhance relationships and foster a more welcoming environment. While learning sign language may not be a requirement in every interaction, it demonstrates a genuine commitment to connecting with deaf individuals on a deeper level.

OP's son, Ricky, and his boyfriend, Trevor, have faced challenges arising from the lack of communication and quality time together. Ricky's insistence on OP learning sign language highlights the importance of bridging the communication gap and dispelling any misconceptions that may have arisen.

By taking proactive steps to learn sign language and spending more quality time with Trevor, OP can strengthen their bond and create a more inclusive and harmonious dynamic within their family. Embracing the opportunity to learn and grow from these experiences can lead to a stronger, more empathetic connection with loved ones who are deaf or have different communication needs.

Damjan