Woman Asks If She Was Right For Not Helping Her Toxic Former Boss - Because Her Traditional Parents Think Otherwise

"Things got bad pretty quickly, so much that my boss believed my colleagues when they painted a picture me being incompetent to her and discontinued my contract"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• October 12, 2023

At work, something strange often happens – people say one thing but do another. They might talk about being fair and nice, but then they act the opposite way.

This can make the workplace an unpleasant and negative place. In her line of work, OP frequently collaborates with different teams.

Currently, she finds herself in a highly cooperative and pleasant team, a stark contrast to her previous experience. In her previous team, non-cooperation and derogatory behavior towards female colleagues were prevalent issues.

Although she held her former boss in high regard, the boss remained indifferent to the situation as long as her own goals were met. This eventually led to a situation where her colleagues portrayed OP as incompetent, resulting in the termination of her contract.

Fortunately, OP swiftly transitioned to her current team, aided by the support of family and friends. Over time, she managed to overcome the emotional toll of her past experiences.

Recently, her former boss approached OP for assistance with a substantial report. OP no longer felt compelled to comply with her requests, and the report's magnitude would demand an excessive amount of her time without substantial benefit.

Consequently, she declined politely, having no intention of maintaining any goodwill with her former boss. Despite subsequent invitations to related meetings and even her former boss seeking her supervisor's intervention, OP firmly declined.

While her office colleagues refrained from commenting on her decisions, her parents, while not explicitly condemning her, viewed her actions as potentially unwise, fearing it might hinder future opportunities for collaboration with her former boss.

OP had a bad experience with an uncooperative team in her previous job, but she is in a better situation now.

OP's former boss asked her for help with a time-consuming report, but she declined

It's worth questioning why they want OP for this project now.

OP needs to inform her current boss about this

OP doesn't owe her ex-boss anything, especially if they terminated her contract previously

OP needs to handle this situation tactfully.

Since OP doesn't work for her anymore, she is not obligated to help.

OP's ex-boss disregarded workplace abuse and doubted her abilities

It's not OP's responsibility to assist her or her team

It's strange that OP's ex-boss, who previously terminated her contract, wants to collaborate with her now

OP's parents have outdated thinking

It doesn't make sense for OP to volunteer for someone who previously viewed her as replaceable

Given OP's past experiences with her former boss and the negative treatment she faced from her previous team, it's entirely reasonable for OP to prioritize her well-being and work-life balance.

OP's decision not to help her former boss with a significant report and to decline to attend meetings related to it is based on her past experiences and her current priorities. Additionally, she is not obligated to help someone who did not support her when she needed it.

OP's parents may have a different perspective, and they might be concerned about potential future collaborations. However, her decision is entirely valid, and it's essential to prioritize her own needs and happiness in her career choices.

Damjan