Family Discord Erupts Over 17-Year-Old's Decision Not To Attend Estranged Father's Funeral

"I do not respect him nor do I love him."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• November 13, 2023

In life, the relationship between parents and their kids can be complicated and full of different feelings. These relationships need time together, understanding, and emotional support to be strong and happy.

But, not every kid gets to have this kind of good relationship with their parents. This leads us to a sad story from Reddit about a 17-year-old guy who's facing a tough choice: whether or not to go to the funeral of his dad, whom he didn't know.

OP, a 17-year-old male, has made the decision not to attend his father's funeral. His family, including his mother, views this decision as problematic.

However, OP's reasoning behind this choice is the fact that he does not have a close relationship with his father. The estrangement dates back to his infancy when his parents divorced due to his father's infidelity. Despite a court battle for custody, his father only made a minimal effort to be part of OP's life. He rarely visited or communicated with OP directly, relying on his wife, with whom he had started a new family, to handle gift-giving and communication on special occasions.

Although his father provided financial support and ensured OP had health insurance due to his military service, there was no emotional connection. Tragically, OP's father recently passed away in a car accident, and OP is now expected to attend the funeral in North Carolina, despite living in California.

OP has firmly declined, and his mother believes he is being disrespectful and ungrateful, considering his father's military service and sacrifice for the country. However, OP's standpoint remains unchanged, as he neither respects nor loves his late father and has no desire to participate in the funeral.

The question raised is whether OP is in the wrong for refusing to attend the funeral.

OP won't attend his father's funeral because he barely know him.

OP had no relationship with his father, but OP's mom believes he should attend to funeral.

He didn't contribute to OP's life, so he don't owe him anything.

OP doesn't have to attend the funeral if he don't feel the need for closure.

OP's choice should be respected, and he is not in the wrong.

Despite being his biological father, it seems like OP has no real connection or relationship with him.

Many strangers have served, and OP is not obligated to attend their funerals either.

He's like a distant relative with no connection or meaningful memory.

Since he wasn't involved in OP's life, he doesn't owe him any involvement in his death.

Funerals shouldn't be about guilt or obligation.

OP shouldn't blame just the father; the mom shares responsibility here.

Wearing a uniform doesn't excuse bad behavior.

He didn't give his time, which would have required a genuine sacrifice.

OP's decision regarding whether to attend his father's funeral should be a deeply personal one. OP needs to remain true to his feelings and convictions in this matter.

Regardless of the opinions and pressures from his mother and other family members, if he does not feel the need to say goodbye to his father, that decision is entirely valid. The absence of a meaningful relationship between them throughout his life is a significant factor to consider, and OP must prioritize his emotional well-being and comfort in this difficult situation.

Ultimately, the choice is his to make, and he should not feel obligated to succumb to external expectations if it does not align with his heartfelt sentiments.

Damjan