Newly-Wed Bride Cries Out For Personal Space While Launching Battle Against Invasive In-Laws

“I don't even have my marital bed to myself anymore!”

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• January 20, 2024

Our story unfolds around a young woman, full of dreams and anticipation, who recently embarked on the rollercoaster of marriage with her 30-year-old husband. 

Our narrator (Original poster) hailed from the rich heritage of India, where it was customary to find couples living with family. 

However, fate, in the form of a job opportunity, whisked them away to a city far from home. The catch? A grueling 10-hour journey, including a 4-hour flight, meant OP’s union was safe from the prying eyes of family—or so she thought.

The intrusion began with her mother-in-law claiming a 20-day stay. It was only a tiny one-bedroom apartment, which meant zero intimacy and personal talks. As a big fan of physical touch, OP struggled to adapt; if only she knew the invasion was far from over. 

A month after her exit, two brothers-in-law came to pitch their tent in her stead, and this time, it was even worse. Not only did she find herself transformed into a slave in her own home, they had to give up their bedroom and make do with the living room.

The six hours OP allocated to studying for her exam were now spent waiting hand and foot on the two “honorary guests.” As if that wasn’t enough, the brothers displayed a shocking lack of hygiene. When they hopped into her marital bed with dirty feet, OP decided enough was enough.

As she counted down the days till their departure, she lived in constant dread of more “unwanted roommates.” Her husband made it clear it was something she’d have to get used to; how does OP advocate for privacy without stirring things up?

The story in detail

A bit of background

After the couple got married, OP’s MIL spent about 20 days with them in their one bedroom flat. Throughout those 20 days, the couple had zero privacy

After MIL left, OP’s BIL’s came over to stay. Apparently, they took over the only bedroom in the house, leaving the couple to make due with the living room

OP also complained about her BILs being lazy, unhygienic and treating her like a maid

OP had a discussion with her husband where she made it clear that she doesn’t want any more visits from his family members. However, her husband was adamant that such a request would be disrespectful to his family

Here’s how the Reddit community reacted to the story:

“NTA. Prepare for a lifetime of being disrespected.”

“I’m Indian-American and i totally get that horrifically toxic dynamic. desi family dynamics can be so invasive and controlling.”

“Leave the house when they're visiting. Seriously, go to a hotel or something.”

“OH HELL NO! Definitely NTA and if it was me, I'd be *very loudly* ‘intimate,’ every day around 3-5am.”

“You need to set very very strict boundaries and stand up for yourself now. Or this will keep escalating. NTA.”

“When your BILs demand food or tea, stand up to them and say NO. Don’t allow yourself to be walked over constantly.”

OP returned with an interesting update

OP spilled her heart to her husband once more, and this time, he finally understood. The first thing he did was assert boundaries by evicting his brothers from their bedroom.

He even delegated chores and urged them to step up. The real win here was the temporary ban on guests. A joint decision saved the day: no more invites until they found a larger place.

What do you think about this story? Join the conversation in the comments.

Jesse