Redditor Limits Pool Use For Her Entitled In-Laws Because They Keep Bringing Strangers, They Don't Like It And Demand Pool Rights Back

"It is starting to be like using our pool is some kind of human right vs. a nice favor we've been doing for them."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• May 15, 2023

Backyard pools can be a haven of fun, relaxation, and family bonding, especially during the warm summer months. However, they also come with their own set of responsibilities and potential safety concerns.

This article delves into a particular situation where the generous open-door (or open-pool) policy of a couple becomes a point of contention within the family. This story touches upon the often delicate balance between extending generosity and maintaining personal boundaries, all set around the backdrop of a seemingly innocuous backyard pool.

OP and her husband have a backyard pool that they've always allowed their nieces and nephews to use, provided that an adult was present. However, a few weeks ago, OP found her fifteen-year-old niece and several of her friends using the pool unsupervised.

Concerned about safety, OP called her sister-in-law (SIL), asking her to ensure this didn't happen again. However, her SIL refused to promise, leading OP and her husband to change the backyard lock and limit pool access to only when they are home.

This decision irritated OP's brother-in-law (BIL) and his wife, as they often wanted to use the pool when OP and her husband were not home. While her husband considered giving them a copy of the new key, OP felt it was time to stop the open access entirely, particularly because she was typically the one cleaning up after their visits.

She was also starting to feel that they were taking the pool access for granted, treating it more as a right than a favor. OP was left questioning if she was in the wrong.

OP asks:

OP and her husband have a backyard pool that they've always allowed their nieces and nephews to use, provided that an adult was present

However, a few weeks ago, OP found her fifteen-year-old niece and several of her friends using the pool unsupervised. Concerned about safety, OP called her sister-in-law (SIL), asking her to ensure this didn't happen again.

However, her SIL refused to promise, leading OP and her husband to change the backyard lock and limit pool access to only when they are home.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

"Your SIL doesn’t care because it isn’t her problem"

"What happens when entitled rellies have an accident?"

A swimming teacher and a lifeguard says:

OP should make sure BIL knows the reason for the new rules

OP has every right to control who uses their backyard pool.

This is true:

"You don't owe any of these people the use of your pool "

The story of OP's backyard pool dispute underlines the importance of respecting personal boundaries, even within the family. Safety, especially in a pool setting, cannot be compromised, and the need for adult supervision is paramount.

OP's concerns about unsupervised teenagers in the pool are justified, and her request for an adult presence is reasonable. Moreover, the entitlement shown by OP's in-laws, treating the pool access as a right rather than a favor, seems to lack appreciation for the generosity extended to them.

It's also worth noting that constant pool maintenance and cleanup fall on OP, adding another layer to her frustration. In light of these factors, OP and her husband's decision to change the locks and restrict pool access when they are home is not only sensible but also necessary.

Generosity should not be taken for granted, and boundaries should always be respected. Their backyard, their rules.

Damjan