Redditor Asks If He Is Right For Not Wanting To Share Food With Roommate's Girlfriend

"I told her she isn't my guest, I'm letting her stay with us as a favor."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• August 3, 2023

There's a certain degree of tolerance required when you decide to live with a roommate. From shared spaces to conflicting schedules, cohabitation necessitates some level of compromise and understanding.

At times, the tricky part isn't dealing with the roommate but with their significant others, especially when these partners start feeling a bit too comfortable in a space that isn't necessarily theirs. The main character of this story, referred to as OP, is experiencing this exact scenario.

OP (24M) shares his living space with his friend Tommy (25M). Recently, due to a gap between leases, Tommy's girlfriend Bella (26F) needed a place to stay and moved in with them for two weeks. OP has always found Bella to be a challenging personality to tolerate, with her constant quarrels with Tommy, her perceived entitlement, and her overall behavior.

On Bella's very first morning, she showed a lack of respect for OP's personal belongings by pulling out his fruit and Greek yogurt from the refrigerator. When OP confronted Bella about this, she disregarded his concern simply because Tommy didn't have any fruit in his section of the fridge.

It's worth mentioning that OP follows a strict dietary regimen and plans his meals meticulously for the week, leaving no room for extras or waste. Despite Bella accusing him of being stingy, selfish, and a poor host, OP stood his ground.

He made it clear that Bella wasn't his guest and that her stay was merely a favor to Tommy. Bella, upset by this, demanded an apology from Tommy, leaving OP in an uncomfortable situation. The question now arises, is OP the one at fault here?

OP asks:

OP (24M) shares his living space with his friend Tommy (25M). Recently, due to a gap between leases, Tommy's girlfriend Bella (26F) needed a place to stay and moved in with them for two weeks

OP doesn't like Bella at all. So, when she tried to take some oh his food from the fridge, he wasn't happy and reacted immediately

OP plans his meals and food shopping

Bella accused OP of being selfish and bad host, and that's when OP really unlashed furry

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

OP is not really sorry for saying those things to Bella, he is sorry because he will get Tommy in trouble

She is not used to hearing the word no

OP has no obligations toward her

It’s simply a matter of human decency at play here.

No need to do favors for borderline enemies.

The bottom line is:

Bella demonstrated a blatant disregard for OP's boundaries and personal belongings. The expectation of free access to someone else's food, particularly in a shared living situation, is not only disrespectful but also shows a lack of understanding of basic social norms.

The fact that OP had explicitly stated his discomfort with Bella's stay and had outlined his dietary restrictions makes Bella's actions even more unacceptable. OP's response to Bella, although blunt, is justifiable under these circumstances.

It's important for Bella to recognize that she is a guest in OP's space, and she needs to respect that. This is not a situation of OP being a bad host but rather a case of Bella being an inconsiderate guest.

Damjan