Redditor Seeks Advice After Their Mother Contacts Them After 9 Years

OP went no-contact with his mother after she stole $100k from him.

Senad

• Published in Interesting
• August 8, 2023

The hero of this story had a complicated relationship with their mother involving finances and boundary violations. The story started when OP's mother opened a credit union account for them at 16 to help manage their finances.

Everything seemed fine until OP joined the military at 19. Their mother took control of their money, constantly moving funds and paying bills from another account while giving them an allowance.

At 26, OP got married, and their mother attempted to convince their spouse to switch banks to hers for better financial planning. However, the couple decided to stay independent, causing tension and fights between the mother and the spouse.

During this time, OP's parents got divorced, and financial discrepancies were revealed. Large sums of money were missing from OP's accounts, and debts had been transferred to their name without their knowledge.

As a result, OP went no-contact with their mother nine years ago. Now, they are expecting their second child, but their mother is trying to re-enter their lives after learning the news.

The issue is that OP doesn't want her back in their life due to the past financial betrayal and boundary-crossing. However, other family members are pressuring OP to let her back, arguing that she's the only grandmother with grandchildren and that money shouldn't come between the family.

Some suggested that OP make their mother pay back everything before being allowed back into their lives. However, others claimed it was wrong to make a grandmother pay to see her only grandchildren.

Now the question is whether OP would be wrong to tell their mother she can't see her grandchildren until she pays back the money.

It's important to understand that OP's feelings are entirely valid, given the financial betrayal and boundary violations they experienced with their mother. It's natural for them to be cautious about letting her back into their lives, especially with the impending arrival of a second child.

Some feel that the grandchildren shouldn't be withheld from their grandmother, while others believe she should repay the money before any reconciliation.

OP's mom worked at a credit union and she opened an account for OP when they were 16 years old

OP's parents got divorced and that's when OP found out about the money his mother stole from him

Over $100k was gone from OP's bank account and she also left them with debt

OP went no-contact with their mom after that but now she wants to sneak back into their lives

OP isn't sure what to do now so they turned to Reddit for help

Some people asked OP about pressing charges

OP was thankful for all of the help they got from helpful Redditors

Take her to court

A very expensive lesson

No reason to trust her

Considering the history of financial manipulation and the impact it had on OP's life, it's entirely reasonable for them to set boundaries and protect themselves from potential harm in the future. Trust is a crucial element in any relationship, and it has been severely broken in this case.

Rebuilding trust and healing from such an ordeal takes time, if it's possible at all. Ultimately, the decision lies with OP, and they shouldn't feel pressured to accept their mother back into their life if they're not ready or willing to do so.

Senad