Redditor Angry For Never Receiving Christmas Gifts From Her Brothers, Parents Say She Is Overreacting

"It’s a pattern! :("

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• January 29, 2023

Family relations can sometimes be complicated, and we may feel that we are not getting as much as we are giving. In order to ensure that our relationships with family members remain strong, it is important to remember to be kind and understanding of one another.

Communication is key in any relationship, so be sure to talk openly and honestly about any issues that arise. And we have one of those stories today. OP (19F) has two siblings, a twin brother, and a 21-year-old brother.

Neither of them got her a gift this year, just like last year and the year before. She was slightly disappointed, and her parents annoyed her, which made her sad. It may have been unwise of OP to bring up the lack of gifts to her brothers directly.

Her family usually uses "ignore it, and it will go away" problem-solving, so OP's dad got annoyed and told her not to bring it up. Her brothers did say they wanted to get her a gift, just not for Christmas.

Later, OP heard her mom tell her dad that OP needed to learn how to regulate her emotions better and get over it, which stung her a little. After that, OP tried to be by herself because she had difficulty hiding her feelings.

She understands that it's not about the presents, but it's hard when it's a pattern of her brothers always getting gifts for each other and her parents but not for her.

OP asks:

OP (19F) has two siblings, a twin brother, and a 21-year-old brother.

Neither of them got her a gift this year, just like last year and the year before.

She was slightly disappointed, and her parents annoyed her, which made her sad.

OP doesn't want to sound bratty, but it bugs her

She posted an edit:

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

This happens every single year?

It's good to calmly ask someone why they've done or haven't done something that's caused you hurt

OP responded:

It's not retaliation

Just don't do it

This is a good question:

"Sounds like there's some pretty deep-seated sexism in your family dynamic."

The best advice ever:

It is not unusual to see parents show favoritism, but it often seems much worse than it really is. The most important thing is to have an honest and open conversation.

Explain to your parents why it bothers you and ask them to try to be more conscious of how their decisions and words might be interpreted. If they still don't understand, it might be helpful to seek professional help.

A counselor can help you and your parents to understand better the underlying issues and how to address them. OP should also understand that boys, in general, are less thoughtful than girls.

Of course, this doesn't excuse them or their parents. If someone is thoughtful with you, you should always reciprocate.

Damjan