Man Wants To Know If He's A Jerk For Buying Dessert For A Friend's Spouse, But Not For His Other Friends
It seems that as we get older and have families of our own, we tend to see our friends less. Between the responsibilities of raising children, the demands of work, and just navigating life in general, finding the time and energy to go out with a friend (or several) can become another chore that keeps getting put off.
And when you add in a global pandemic, it can feel like getting together with your friends is a near-impossible task. But having time with people you enjoy that aren’t your spouse, children or coworkers is crucial.
We need that connection with like-minded people we enjoy in ways that are different from our family and time away from the typical hustle and bustle. It can be as simple as meeting up for dinner or a drink, but it’s something that should be prioritized.
A Redditor shared about a recent outing he had with five of his friends for the first time in nearly two years. They met up for dinner after the holidays, just the boys, and spent their time eating, drinking, and catching up without their spouses or kids.
It sounded exactly what we all need: quality time with friends. And as a show of appreciation for his friends and their rare time together, OP opted to pay for the entire bill at the end of the meal.
As generous and good-intentioned as that may sound at face value, things ended up a bit heated. You see, OP asked for the check after one of his friends ordered a slice of cake to-go for their wife.
So when the waitress came back with the check, two other friends decided they also wanted to order some dessert for their wife and kids, expecting OP to pay for them as well. When OP refused, an argument ensued.
Naturally, OP turned to Reddit’s famous Am I The A-hole forum for some perspective. Keep scrolling to read the full story and the responses.
For the first time in 2 years, OP and his friend group finally got to go out for dinner without their spouses or families
An outing with just the boys
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After everyone was done eating, one of OP's friend called over the waitress to order some dessert to-go for his wife
OP also took the opportunity to request the check, offering to pay for everyone
As soon as the waitress left and now knowing OP was paying, two other friends decided they wanted to order dessert as well and have OP add them to the bill
Which OP shut down and refused to pay for anything other than what was already totaled on the check
The two friend accused OP of being "cheap" and unfair since he paid for another friend's cake
So, OP turned to the Internet for an outside judgment
Essentially, everyone pointed out the hypocrisy of the friends calling OP cheap
Getting mad at OP for not paying for *more* is ridiculous
They didn't know until the last moment that OP was covering their meal, they could have used the money they were planning on spending for their dinners
They should have been appreciative that OP was paying in the first place
Their behavior was super tacky
"They don't deserve free cake"
Boom
They were 100% trying to take advantage of OP's generosity
OP deserves better
OP is NTA - but his friends are
They nailed it
Bless them for asking for more info
Rob be like:
Paying for the drinks and meals for 6 people *quickly* adds up
Not to mention the cost of the tip
"It's the afterthought that counts"
Got 'em
Who does that?
It's mindboggling
They had plenty of opportunities to order to-go before knowing OP was paying
Mike had full intentions to pay for his own cake slice
Mike is the only one who actually deserves the free cake
Mike's obviously a good dude in this situation
Do you agree with Redditor's judgment about OP not being the a-hole? Or do you think he was being unfair by not letting Tom and Rob also get dessert for their families when he paid for Mike to do so?
We want to know your thoughts on this situation! So be sure to drop a comment in the comments section below.
