Aunt Stubbornly Encourages Niece To Go On Road Trip Before Grad School Despite What Her Controlling Mother Might Say

This generous aunt will pay for the entire trip, but her SIL doesn't want her adult daughter out of her sight

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• July 25, 2023

A 42-year-old Reddit OP might have committed too hard to her role as the cool aunt. She wanted to continue a family tradition and send her 22-year-old niece on a road trip after graduating college.

They hit their first road bump before the trip even started. OP's sister-in-law, her niece's mom, keeps her daughter on a short leash.

She is a great mom to an incredible daughter, but her "house rules" are too much. OP's niece wasn't allowed to date, go to concerts, hang out with her friends, and was forced to maintain a frugal life.

OP's niece was a great student and is set to graduate with a degree in chemical engineering. She even plans on pursuing her doctorate.

OP thinks this road trip is her niece's only opportunity for a break before she plunges into adulthood. Her SIL is adamantly opposed to her daughter going on this "frivolous, expensive, and extremely dangerous" road trip.

She didn't back down despite OP's reassurance that all expenses would be paid for by her. OP even talked to her point by point about each of her worries.

Her niece has a great car, they can call AAA, and there are no irresponsible women in her daughter's friend group. OP even mapped out the road trip in a way that her relatives would be close by to check on her niece if necessary.

OP's niece wants to go on the trip with her friends but she isn't used to going against her mom's wishes

Despite her SIL's protest, OP told her niece that the road trip is a standing offer

She reminded her that she is an adult who can make her own decisions

OP's husband asked her to stop forcing the gift before she ruins her niece's relationship with her mom. Did OP overstep?

Redditors were supportive of what OP was doing

This road trip is what her niece needs to realize that she is her own person outside of her relationship with her mom

However, Redditors warned OP of the eventual fallout if she continues to push the road trip despite her SIL's objections

OP says she's aware and anxious of what might happen, but she fully believes her niece needs to live her life no matter what her mom thinks

OP should also brief her niece about what she can expect during the road trip. Her sheltered life isn't enough preparation for any emergency situations she and her friends might face while traveling.

If she doesn't take this opportunity, she might regret it when she's older. She could end up resenting her mom for holding her back.

There is a potential solution that OP's SIL could approve

OP can set the money aside for when her niece is ready to go or for when she's ready to go against her mom's wishes. I don't see OP's SIL ever agreeing to this.

OP posted an updat a few months later. She took the suggestion and gave the money to her niece. She told both mom and daughter that it will be the last time she will talk about it.

OP's niece decided to go on the road trip a few months later. She and her mom had a falling out because of it. OP's SIL blamed her for what happened.

OP's niece was heartbroken. Eventually, SIL called her daughter and apologized. OP's niece had a lot of fun with her friends during their trip and didn't face a lot of issues on the road.

SIL admitted that the trip was a good thing for her daughter. She and OP are still on icy terms, but she thanked OP nonetheless.

The mother-daughter dynamic is about to change. It will make OP's sister-in-law uncomfortable, but the change is necessary.

Sooner or later, she has to accept that her daughter is an independent adult. The road trip was a great start for them to face this new phase of their relationship.

Chelsi