Mother Seeks Advice On Daughter Taking Grandson's Diary, Which He Uses To Cope With Father's Death

"She was stunned I would ask and told me I should be focused more on the contents"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• October 12, 2023

In a recent family dispute that unfolded, OP found herself at odds with her oldest daughter. The disagreement stemmed from OP's deep disappointment in her daughter's actions and her belief that her daughter was falling short as a mother.

Seeking perspective on the matter, OP opened up about the complex family dynamics that had led to this rift. Her daughter had been through two marriages, the first ending tragically with her husband's untimely death when their children were just 9, 5, and 4 years old.

After 18 months, she met her second husband and remarried, blending their family with his daughter, who was four at the time of their union. The tragedy of her first husband's death had a profound impact, especially on her oldest grandson.

Struggling with grief, he entered therapy, initially at OP's urging. His emotional turmoil manifested in difficulties with eating, sleeping, and school.

Gradually, with the support of therapy, he began to heal and cope. As part of his therapy, he kept a private diary to express his thoughts and feelings.

This diary was meant solely for him; not even his therapist read it. It became a crucial outlet for him during his healing process. However, trouble arose when the diary disappeared while he was living with OP and her husband.

Concerned, OP's other grandchildren from her daughter's first marriage revealed that their mom had taken the diary and was furious about its contents. She also harbored anger toward them for supporting their brother.

Upon confronting her daughter, tensions flared. Her daughter revealed that the diary contained writings about her current husband and other children, including her stepdaughter.

She felt that her son was trying to prevent her from moving on and harbored resentment towards her new family. This revelation left her unable to look at her son, and OP questioned whether her daughter had taken the diary without permission.

The disagreement escalated when OP expressed her disappointment and labeled her daughter a terrible mother for reading the private thoughts of her son.

OP had a recent disagreement with her oldest daughter, expressing disappointment and calling her a bad mother

OP's oldest grandson struggled immensely after his dad's death and it was a challenge to convince her daughter to seek therapy for him

OP learned about a family conflict when her daughter took her son's therapy journal without permission.

The dispute led to a heated argument between OP and her daughter, causing tension in their relationship.

Her children won't trust her anymore.

OP should advise the daughter that her actions could result in the cessation of communication with the children.

Maybe OP can persuade her to consider family therapy.

She really hurt that child, and OP is absolutely correct

OP's daughter acting poorly and avoiding responsibility for her actions

OP needs to focus on supporting her grandson and consider limiting contact to show she is on his side

The mother should not be angry at her child for his valid emotions

Inappropriate to read someone's diary

OP's daughter did something wrong by taking and reading OP's grandson's private diary without asking him. It's normal for families to argue sometimes when they're upset.

But instead of telling her daughter she's a bad mom, OP could talk to her calmly. OP needs to tell her that she is worried about what she did and how it made her grandson feel.

OP should try and understand and fix the problem rather than getting mad at her daughter.

Damjan