Mother Thoughtlessly Promises Her Daughter That She Will Not Remarry After Divorce, All Hell Breaks Loose When She Does

"The only thing she asked was to never have any new parents or siblings."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• December 7, 2023

Divorce, an experience both common and uniquely challenging, often brings unforeseen consequences, especially when children are involved. The story of a Reddit user grappling with the aftermath of divorce illustrates the complexities of maintaining stability and honoring promises in changing family relationships.

OP shared a tale beginning with their divorce three years prior. Her daughter, then nine years old, had taken the divorce in stride but made a heart-wrenching request: no new parents or siblings. This seemed like a child's desperate plea for stability in a world turned upside down. Both parents, not considering new relationships at the time, agreed.

Fast forward to a year and a half ago, the OP met someone new, and life seemed to be moving forward positively. The daughter adapted well to the new partner and his children, and even to her father's various guests.

However, when engagement and living together plans surfaced, the daughter's fears reignited. Feeling betrayed by a broken promise, she demanded to live full-time with her father, a decision the OP found unacceptable due to concerns about the father's lack of responsibility.

The situation escalated, with the father supporting the daughter's stance, and even considering legal action. The OP faced a dilemma: respect their daughter's wishes, which were made when she was much younger and under emotional distress, or fight for what she believed was best for her.

The OP's ex-husband sided with their daughter, labeling the OP's actions as irresponsible.

OP's divorce from her ex-husband went relatively smoothly for her daughter, the only request she had was that she didn't want any new parents or siblings.

After the divorce, OP's daughter initially accepted her new relationship, but when OP got engaged and planned to move in with her partner, the daughter felt the promise was broken and wanted to live with her father full-time.

Now OP's ex is willing to fight it in court if necessary, and OP is concerned about his parenting style and believes that the daughter shouldn't have the right to dictate her visitation schedule.

OP's ex supports his daughter's wish to live where she's most comfortable, and OP is concerned about the daughter having too much power over this decision.

OP made a promise to her child, and she shouldn't be upset that she's upset about it.

OP betrayed her trust.

OP is wrong for making that promise instead of seeking family therapy with her child.

OP is wrong for wanting to make major changes in her child's life despite agreeing to maintain stability in the family after a previous change.

The OP made her a promise, and now without considering her feelings he is making new changes in her daughter's life

OP is wrong for not respecting a child's request and dismissing her feelings.

OP broke a promise to a child and appears insensitive to the child's feelings and wishes regarding custody arrangements.

OP is wrong for breaking an agreement with her daughter and introducing a new partner without her consent.

OP made an unreasonable promise to her daughter.

The promise should be kept and the daughter could live with her father if necessary.

It wasn't truthful or realistic to promise something like that.

OP is facing a challenging situation with her daughter after breaking a promise made during a difficult time. While it's understandable that circumstances have changed, and new relationships have developed, it's crucial to acknowledge the daughter's feelings and the promise that was made to her.

The OP's decision to seek help from a therapist or other experts to navigate these complex situations is a wise step.

Damjan