Boyfriend Pressures His Girlfriend To Pay For Half Of His House's Mortgage When They Move In Together After Learning She Earns 150% More Than His Salary

This is why moving in before taking your relationship further is a must!

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• February 18, 2022

Let’s dive right into the story, shall we? OP (original poster) is a 22-year-old social media manager who has been in a serious relationship for almost 2 years with a 29-year-old doctor.

The couple recently decided to move in together into the doctor’s house which he bought way before they were dating. Before finalizing the move, the couple thought it best to sort out their finances together.

During the discussion, the inevitable topic of salary was brought to the table. The boyfriend’s salary is pretty much what OP was expecting and then it was her turn to share her salary.

When OP said the amount, her boyfriend laughed a little and said OP was supposed to say how much she makes in a month, not in a year. OP said that the amount she shared was her salary every month.

The boyfriend was definitely shocked but OP understood as she makes 150% more than him. Despite earning big bucks, OP lives below her means, she stayed at the same small apartment that she’s lived in when she was earning significantly less, and she doesn’t drive.

OP explained that she’s only earning this much because her client lives in a country where the currency is much more powerful than theirs. If OP were to work locally, she would only be making a quarter of what her boyfriend earns.

After her boyfriend recovered from the initial shock, he told OP that this is great news after all. He said OP can now pay half of the mortgage on his house with no problem.

OP was taken aback by the demand to pay half of the mortgage on a house that's not legally hers.

OP's plan was to cover the groceries, pay for the utilities, as well as cook and clean for both of them since she has more free time than her boyfriend.

The boyfriend countered that since OP makes so much more than him, the least she could do is pay for half of the mortgage, and he has no problem paying for his share on utilities and groceries.

OP found this unfair because, in the event that they break up, he will keep the house and OP will be back to square one. If he insists on this, OP said she'd rather stay at her current apartment.

She suggested a compromise: she will furnish the entire house because it barely has any furniture in it, pay for the groceries, cook, clean, and they will go half on the utilities. OP's boyfriend shut down this suggestion as well.

He said that if OP was going to pay rent anyway, why not pay the mortgage instead? He reasoned it was basically the same thing and if OP refuses, she's an a**hole.

For now, OP is standing firm on her decision not to pay the mortgage; she'd happily pay rent but not the mortgage on a house that's not hers. It doesn't help that half the mortgage is 3x what OP is paying for her current apartment.

Below is OP's full story:

Social Media is a booming business for this gal.

He didn't like that!

"He's a smart man, but..."

The discussion in the comments got a bit heated and by the end of it, everyone was split about whether or not OP is the a**hole in this situation

OP quickly answered that her half on the mortgage would be 3x more than her current rent

It's clear why OP would hesitate to pay that much money once you compare it to her rent

Maybe the issue is not just about the mortgage?

OP's boyfriend could have worded it better

OP seems to have limited choices: stay alone in her apartment or live in her boyfriend's bigger house she had no say in picking

OP and her boyfriend need to dig deeper why this issue is becoming such a big hurdle in their relationship

They need to have a serious conversation about a lot of things

It's reasonable to split the living expenses when you share a home but the thing is, OP had no choice where that home would be

Reddit is concerned that OP wants to live rent-free in her boyfriend's home

OP is sticking to her guns

Simply put: OP lives with her boyfriend, she has to pay rent. The rent money will go towards paying mortgage but OP is stuck because her boyfriend said she will be paying mortgage, not rent

OP is starting to see the light

They were really arguing about the semantics as one redditor said above

But if OP and her boyfriend are set on moving in together, one person had a suggestion in mind

Which OP seemed to like

In the end, a majority of the comments were leaning more towards OP not being an a**hole...

... and they think OP's reasoning is sound

We also can't overlook that OP is 22-years-old and her boyfriend is 29; maybe she is not as ready as she thinks she is to take their relationship to the next level. Anyway, this is just some armchair psychology from an unqualified internet sleuth.

This couple needs to have a serious conversation before moving any further with their plans. If they move in without resolving it, OP won't worry about paying mortgage or rent for long.

Chelsi