The Man Flu Is Real And This Woman's Story Hilariously Proves It

The world's deadliest disease.

Jack

• Published in Funny
• December 3, 2018

The Man Flu is a very serious and painful affliction. One of the only diseases that is gender specific, it can be ruthless in its take down of men of all shapes and sizes, occupation, social standings and toughness levels.

In all seriousness though, it's coming into flu season and getting the flu sucks. Sydney Water's had a run in with it and goes on to explain the most hilarious series of events in relation to her husband. Did we mention that Sydney is 6 months pregnant and also cares for a toddler? Keep that in mind as you read through this blog post.

“Just as sure as the sun rises and sets, I can count on him to be completely useless for a solid week if he so much as sneezes.”

This time was worse though, because Sydney also caught the illness and it wasn't just a regular flu, it was a stomach flu.

“I watched my husband transform right before my eyes, stumbling around saying he’s going to puke. Grreeeeeat. The moment he says he’s feeling sick, my eyes automatically roll into the back of my head and touch my spine. Instant dread.”

It gets substantially worse from here, as Sydney has to listen to him start destroying their house.

“First stop is our kitchen sink. He pukes all over a week’s worth of dirty dishes. He’s obnoxiously loud when he’s barfing to make sure I know this is the real deal. the neighbors known it’s the real deal. The next town does, too.”

After letting her husband know that maybe the kitchen isn't the best place to vomit everywhere, he makes it to the bathroom.

“He lays on the floor with his eyes closed and starts moaning, ‘Syd. Syydd. I can’t. I can’t see.’ Oh Jesus so now he can’t see? Is this a joke? He has a flu symptom that doesn’t even exist. Actually, I can’t. I should probably leave. Where is this dude’s mom?”

“He’s rolling around like a pig in sh*t but in his own barf that’s everywhere but the toilet. I decided to try to call his bluff. ‘Do you need me to call 9-1-1??? We just have the stomach flu and I’M PREGNANT. I’m tired. You’re telling me I am going to pick up the phone and say this is an emergency. You know they’re going to actually come here RIGHT?”

Apparently her husband is a first responder and a combat veteran, but The Man Flu stops at nothing and claims all victims. No one is safe.

“They proceed to tell me I need to follow behind them to the hospital because he was going via ambulance. For the flu. That I gave him. I drive my pregnant butt alone to the hospital while puking in a plastic bag with my husband in front of me on a stretcher being doted on.”

Jack