Man Asks If He’s Being Unreasonable For Not Giving Up His “Man Cave” To Make Room For His Mother-In-Law

In his defense - he built it with his own hands before he got married.

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• April 8, 2022

“Man caves” or “man dens” are a highly controversial topic. Many people wonder why men need a place to be secluded from their families.

And why don’t wives and mothers have their caves and dens? Without going deeper into the debate, we will simply acknowledge that they exist, whether right or wrong.

And their existence causes problems. Even when they were built before the man got married (yes, even single men need places where they can be men).

Everyone requires their own space. A place to unwind, re-energize, and be yourself.

It's a place where you make the rules, and no one bothers you. So when Reddit user u/needmyspaceaita created such a space for himself, he wasn't willing to give it up.

Even if it meant having a fight with his wife. She had insisted that he give up his "man cave" so her mother could live with them.

u/needmyspaceaita attempted to reach an arrangement with them, but they could not do so. He wrote a post after the whole thing turned into a massive dispute, describing the circumstances and asking if he was being too stubborn.

And the Redditors couldn't agree. Continue reading to find out more about what happened.

OP was asked to give up his “man cave” so his wife could accommodate her mother. The problem is that he had built it by himself a long time before he met his wife.

OP and his wife got married four years ago. She has two kids form previous relationship.

OP owns a house, so he took them all in

OP’s father-in-law died and his wife came up with an idea...

OP was very hesitant

He finally agreed, but there were some obstacles

OP’s wife suggested that he gives up his man cave. That was out of the question

And OP was clear about that

He offered a solution:

But wife wasn't happy with it

Now they are fighting

Neither of them wants to budge

Their relationship is suffering...

So now he needs objective advice for the Reddit crowd:

When partners agree on everything but one thing, relationship coach Jessica Brighton believes that talking it out is the greatest thing they can do.

"Communication and the concept of selecting your battles" are the keys to a successful resolution, she says "You should have a long discussion about your feelings and where each of you stands on the topic." If you still can't find common ground, a compromise and agreeing to disagree may be your best option."

Female Redditor said:

Basically, there are no A-holes here:

They just need to communicate

Yeah, OP did give up a lot, but he wanted it. And he has received so much in return...

Being lonely isn't a good reason

The kids are young. No problem in them sharing a room...

Some Redditors believe this is a marriage-breaker

This is also true:

Some Redditors made good suggestions:

Good question:

The bottom line is:

Nothing is perfect, but you must focus on the positive and reframe your perspective if you want to stay together. In other areas of our lives, we all have to cope with difficulties and unpleasant situations.

So why bring negativity to your personal life? If you decide that the positives in your relationship exceed the negatives, you should focus less on the one negative issue and more on the positivity and enjoyment it offers you.

Damjan