Husband Attends Grandfather's Funeral At Wife's Insistence, Now Accused Of Abandoning Her With 3 Kids

"She told me I was not thinking about her and the kids when I purchased the tickets."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• February 27, 2024

In every family's journey, some moments test the bonds and understanding between its members. One such moment emerged in the life of a Reddit user, who faced a heart-wrenching dilemma that many can relate to: the challenge of attending a loved one's funeral while managing the responsibilities of a young family.

The OP's grandfather had passed away, and the funeral was set in a different state. With three sons under the age of 3, the logistical and financial strains of either taking the whole family or leaving them behind were immense.

Initially, attending the funeral seemed impossible. However, encouraged by his wife and in-laws, he decided to purchase the cheapest flight available for a four-night stay.

This decision was made with his wife's reassurance and presence during the booking process. But the reality of managing three young children alone soon hit his wife hard, leading to an emotional breakdown and a reevaluation of the decision for him to attend the funeral.

Despite her emotional struggle, his wife insisted he should still attend, even as she expressed feelings of abandonment and questioned his priorities. The situation escalated to the point where the stability of their marriage was brought into question, leaving OP torn between his obligation to his family and his need to mourn.

OP is facing frequent guilt-tripping calls and venting.

OP has three sons under three, and attending his grandfather's out-of-state funeral alone initially seemed overwhelming due to childcare and financial concerns.

Despite OP's initial reluctance, he was persuaded by both his wife and his in-laws to attend the event and they assured him that they would provide support in his absence.

OP booked the most affordable 4-night flight with his wife's input, however, she later expressed concern about handling their three children by herself during the trip.

The following day, she had an emotional breakdown, questioning why he chose to go for four nights instead of just two nights, she felt he hadn't considered her and the kids when buying the tickets.

OP offered to cancel the flights, but she encouraged him to go, and after discussing it with his in-laws, they advised him to proceed with the trip.

Despite his wife's insistence, he still felt conflicted, perceiving it as a lose-lose situation but ultimately proceeded with the flight.

his wife is bombarded him daily phone calls expressing frustration over his absence and questions about their marriage and his love for her.

The situation is exacerbated by the fact that she's on the phone instead of supervising the children.

His wife may have postpartum depression and is stressed while trying to be supportive.

Having three kids under three is tough.

OP should have decided not to attend from the start and stuck to it.

That is too many days of absence due to a funeral.

It seems like she's trying her best to be supportive but feels extremely overwhelmed.

OP faced a difficult decision attending the funeral, initially supported by his wife, but now she is unfair for making him feel guilty about it.

The situation with OP's family shows how tough it can be when dealing with a loved one's passing, especially when you have young kids and lots of things to organize. It seems like maybe he should've stayed home to help his wife instead of going to the funeral. It wasn't fair to leave her alone with all the kids for so long, especially if she's not feeling well.

In the future, they need to talk more and make decisions together that are best for the whole family, especially when things are tough. It's all about supporting each other and making sure everyone's okay.

Damjan