Redditor Recommends Midwife She Had Wonderful Experience With But Forgets To Mention It's A Male, Causes Huge Fight In Her Friend Group

"That's why she blew up at me"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• January 21, 2023

OP recently gave birth to their first child. The child came a little early, so OP and their partner rushed to the hospital, where they were assigned a male midwife.

This midwife was great; he helped OP's child turn itself in the womb to be born naturally, and he was calm and compassionate the whole time. He even joked with OP's partner.

After delivering the baby, OP was the first in their friend group to have a child, and three friends were pregnant with their first child.

A few days after coming home from the hospital, OP held a get-together to celebrate their baby's birth. On this occasion, OP talked a lot about their experience and praised the midwife a lot, without mentioning the midwife was male.

Later, a friend of OP's asked for the midwife's mailing address. When the friend and her husband went to the appointment to discuss arrangements for her own delivery, they only then realized the midwife was male.

After the meeting, the husband was elated, saying he liked this midwife compared to the other ones they had met, and he said it was a huge plus that they knew from OP that the midwife was professional and knew what he did. The friend, however, said she still didn't want him as her midwife, and when her husband asked why, she had to admit it was because the midwife was male.

He called her sexist afterward, and when the other friends expecting children sided with the husband, the friend blew up at OP. Had the friend known the midwife was male, she would have ruled him out immediately.

OP was left wondering if they were in the wrong for recommending a male midwife.

OP asks:

OP recently gave birth to their first child. The child came a little early, so OP and their partner rushed to the hospital, where they were assigned a male midwife.

This midwife was great; he helped OP's child turn itself in the womb to be born naturally, and he was calm and compassionate the whole time

OP recommended this midwife to her friends

But she never mentioned the gender

One of her friend asked for contact

She was pretty angry after finding out that he was a male

The whole thing blew out of proportions

OP posted an edit:

Edit 2:

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

This Redditor says:

Pushing is not okay

Some Redditors believe it is sexist

Fine and not fine:

If she’s uncomfortable, she’s uncomfortable

"It’s up to her who is her midwife"

OP recommended a professional that they had a positive experience with

OP didn't know about preferences

On the other hand:

There was no need to blow up.

Male midwives are a thing. In many countries, including the United States, midwives are a profession open to both men and women.

In some countries, such as the UK, there are a growing number of male midwives. Midwifery is a profession focused on helping expectant mothers with the birthing process and providing medical care for both mother and baby during pregnancy, labor, and postpartum.

Damjan