Woman Asks Advice On How To Deal With Male Coworkers Treating Her With Unwarranted Caution And Discomfort

"The best way I can describe it is how a guy typically behaves when talking to a very hot woman while his wife is watching."

Sophia

• Published in Interesting
• November 21, 2023

Within the complex landscape of workplace dynamics, a woman in her early thirties finds herself amidst a confounding scenario, questioning the treatment she receives from male colleagues. Having built a solid foundation in her career within an industry dominated by men, she embarked on a new job five months ago, only to encounter a shift in behavior that left her puzzled.

The company's recent expansion from a small, remote setup to a physical office seems to be a pertinent detail, prompting her to consider whether the transition from remote work might have led to some peculiar behaviors.

The discomfort she perceives is palpable—colleagues seem uneasy when alone with her, hesitant to engage in casual conversations, and perhaps overly cautious about maintaining a strictly professional demeanor.

Drawing a parallel to scenarios where men act nervously around an attractive woman in the presence of their spouses, she contemplates the potential influences of societal movements like Me Too or personal factors such as the colleagues' spouses.

Despite her best efforts to project professionalism and engage in friendly conversations, a noticeable dichotomy emerges, with warm interactions during business trips sharply contrasted by an almost fearful atmosphere in the office.

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In her thirties, with a successful career in male-dominated field, OP joined an expanded company. Two male colleagues of hers, who previously worked remotely are now in office—and she suspects that the experience of WFH made them quite odd.

Guys seem uneasy around her, avoiding alone time and sticking to work talk. It's like they fear getting into trouble, similar to a nervous man chatting with an attractive woman in front of his wife.

She acts professionally and respectfully, unsure why the guys seem uncomfortable. Her behavior would remain the same even if their wives were present.

Professional interactions, but she values friendly connections with coworkers, sharing personal details. Previous colleagues turned friends, and she stays in touch weekly.

On a work trip with two colleagues, one (B) and she had a surprising 4-hour conversation on a flight, dispelling initial discomfort. Both married with no romantic interest.

Same hotel, breakfast together before meeting another coworker (A) at the client's office. Felt a breakthrough, sensing he no longer sees her as a threat.

Silent plane ride and tense office vibe. On the next trip, different hotels and flights, everyone acting weird, as if being seen with her is problematic.

Twist: Another coworker, like her, talked for hours with coworker A on a flight. In the office, he's hesitant to close the conference room door, fearing inappropriate suspicions.

Met their wives several times, describes herself as pretty and busty but modest. Emphasizes a "girl next door" look, not a seductress.

Facing unfamiliar hot/cold behavior in the office, she's unsure how to navigate the situation.

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Here's a TLDR:

Coworkers treating her like the secret-keeper. Did she miss the spy memo or stumble into a workplace thriller?

If they're not into the friendship plotline, pushing it is like trying to make a cat fetch—unlikely to end well.

French tech escapade survived the Me Too drama, kicked out three toxic players. C'est la vie, more like c'est la détox!

Spotting the cautious male routine as a woman. Apparently, it's the "he said, she said" fear.

Work guys turning her life into a talk show. Next time on "Plane Chatter Chronicles": how to escape overly friendly seatmates.

"Embrace the norm," they say, treating office life like a fashion trend. Investigating hotel quirks might spark more drama than a reality show.

HR says: "Open doors, closed friendships." Work mode on, friendship mode off.

Workplace or Shakespearean drama?

His office: the stage for meetings or a Broadway show? Window shades open, door ajar—drama or just a lunch invite in a group setting?

Welcome to the sitcom of office life!

Men in today's workplace: high stakes. Being too friendly? It's like corporate tightrope walking—uncertain steps, lots to lose.

In her opinion, this ranks as one of the weirdest humble brags. Turning workplace discomfort into an avant-garde masterpiece—who knew?

Work's work, but having an attractive coworker means risking it all. The irony: attractiveness turns the office into a dating show.

In a sea of a hundred men, she's the "ice-breaker." Her arrival freezes the chat, turning workplace banter into an arctic expedition.

Industry vibes matter.

Workplace tightrope: smooth for years, one complaint, and it's career acrobatics. Upper management's "backflip at the first sign of trouble" policy keeps you guessing who's got back.

Femcels and incels? They're the toxic plot twists.

Workplace for men: a dance of friendliness with the constant fear of a career cha-cha into false accusations.

MeToo fallout in her world: doors stay open, and she nonchalantly thanks MeToo for the awkward vibes.

HR's "avoid harassment" lectures turned the office into a silent movie marathon. Now, male-female interactions are like a suspense thriller—less talking, more avoiding.

As she grapples with this hot-and-cold behavior in the professional setting, the woman seeks insights to unravel the motives behind her colleagues' actions and, potentially, find a resolution that restores a comfortable and collaborative work environment.

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Sophia