College Student Expected To Take Care Of Her Assigned Autistic Roommate Doesn't Want To Do It, Gets Judged By Others

As expected, no one is offering to help, only to judge.

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• February 25, 2023

OP is a college student and lives in a dorm room with her roommate, Sarah, who is autistic. Everyone gives Sarah easy treatment, even their professors, and OP has been expected to act as a caregiver, which didn't bother her initially but eventually became an issue.

Sarah leaves her clothes on the floor, and even OP's bed, and always asks OP to cook for her and clean after her. When OP confronts Sarah about it, Sarah uses her autism as an excuse.

Everyone OP has vented to has told her to cut Sarah some slack, saying she doesn't know better. However, OP knows that Sarah can take care of herself, as she did all her chores herself before everyone started treating her differently.

OP has decided to stop being a caregiver to Sarah but has been receiving backlash from Sarah's friends and family. Additionally, when OP is at the dorm cleaning after Sarah, Sarah parties all night and comes home late at night (sometimes drunk).

As a result, nobody wants to be Sarah's replacement roommate due to how she treated OP. Although some may argue that Sarah needs a caregiver due to her disability, OP is not her caregiver.

OP wonders if she is in the wrong for not wanting to do it anymore. Read the full story below:

OP asks:

OP is a college student and lives in a dorm room with her roommate, Sarah, who is autistic. Everyone gives Sarah easy treatment

OP has been expected to act as a caregiver, which didn't bother her initially but eventually became an issue.

Everyone OP has vented to has told her to cut Sarah some slack, saying she doesn't know better. However, OP knows that Sarah can take care of herself.

OP posted an edit:

OP is not a caregiver

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

This is true

OP shouldn’t let the roommate push her into being her caretaker.

According to a 2015 report, approximately 4,000 college-aged students diagnosed with autism participate in post-secondary education programs in the United States.

Potential liability? We would say certain liability...

What are the rates now?

This is what's infuriating about the whole situation:

OP should do this:

This also:

The bottom line is:

OP is just a college student. This is what's infuriating about the whole situation - everyone is acting like it's ok for OP to be an untrained, unpaid caregiver on top of her own educational demands.

We can understand her roommate for wanting it easy - in a way, we are all like that. Why not get help when you can? But we can't understand the adults around them. Why are they enabling this kind of behavior?

OP is there to learn, not play nursemaid to her lazy roommate. If she gives in to this, her studies will likely suffer for it.

We hope she will work things out.

Damjan