Woman Shocked By Brother's Accusations Of Being Less Adult Without Kids Despite His Constant Complaints About Parenthood

"My dad wants us to at least make up on the surface level, and we were willing to do so, until now."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• March 5, 2024

When new people join a family, things can get complicated. Whether it's through getting married, adopting, or other ways, new family members can shake things up.

This can bring up old problems, make people change how they've always done things, and mean that everyone has to get used to each other. All these changes mean that the family has to figure out how to get along all over again, which can be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster and cause some confusion.

This story is about OP who found themselves in a tricky situation with her stepbrother, Dan, who wasn't around much until a couple of years ago. Dan often says mean things about people who are different from him and even makes rude comments about his step-sister's life choices.

On top of that, Dan and his wife didn't invite them to their wedding, thinking they'd be too busy to attend. Things got even more complicated when Dan and his wife decided to have a baby through IVF, asking for money from family members to help pay for it.

OP and her partner don't have kids and feel left out because Dan's mom, her stepmom, seems to only care about grandchildren. Recently, her stepmom tried to get everyone on a video call to announce Dan's new baby, but they missed it because they were busy.

Even when OP explained, it didn't seem to matter. Now, OP'd dad is asking her to just pretend everything is okay, especially with the baby news, but that feels even harder to do.

OP and her husband recently got to know her stepbrother Dan better, however, Dan frequently makes offensive remarks, which they dislike.

He criticizes OP's life choices but complains about lack of time because married a woman with kids and not invite OP to their wedding, assuming they would be too busy.

OP's reduced contact with Dan upset her stepmom and Dan and his wife anticipate a baby.

OP's stepmom unexpectedly video-called to announce their new child, and they didn't hear anything else until OP's sister informed her later.

OP's dad wants them to pretend everything's fine, but they are hesitant because they don't want to appear unkind to the expecting couple.

OP wondering how she needs to handle this without being seen as the villain.

OP could send a basic congratulatory card and a gift from their registry if available.

OP shouldn't stress over others' judgments.

OP should maintain distance, thus avoiding conflict and diminishing their interest in manipulation.

OP should stand her ground and politely request her dad to respect her choices.

OP should send a gift to the baby to show kindness and maintain peace.

Family isn't everything, especially if they bring negativity.

OP should prioritize communication with her dad and maintain harmony, especially if things become overwhelming.

OP should be polite at family events, but limit unnecessary interaction otherwise.

Dealing with family stuff can be tough, especially when people are acting not so nice. But OP gotta look out for herself.

If someone in the family is being mean or leaving her out, it's okay for her to step back a bit. She can still be polite and send a card or a gift for special occasions, but she doesn't have to stress about it too much.

It's important to stick up for herself and tell her dad how she feels respectfully. And sending a gift for the new baby is a nice gesture to keep the peace.

OP needs to focus on staying happy and talking things out with your dad when things get tough and her happiness comes first. Family isn't everything if they're bringing her down.

Damjan