Man Kicks Out 5-Month Sober Brother-In-Law When He Starts Preaching To His Guests About Sobriety And Religion

"Sounds like he traded one addiction for another."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• August 20, 2023

The process of overcoming addiction often leads to a profound and transformative journey. As individuals navigate the challenging path toward sobriety, many find solace and renewed purpose in their newfound clarity.

However, a noticeable trend frequently emerges among those in recovery – an earnest urge to share their experiences and wisdom with others. This desire to enlighten others can originate from genuine goodwill, yet it can also develop into repetitive behavior, particularly when individuals in recovery utilize social situations, like parties, as platforms to convey their messages.

This dual nature of the inclination to educate others after battling addiction encompasses both its admirable intentions and its potential to become overwhelming, especially when it becomes a central focus in casual gatherings.

In a recent chapter of their lives, OP (31m) and his wife, Gal (30f), embraced homeownership and hosted their inaugural significant BBQ event, attended by both their cherished families and friends.

Gal's brother, Jim (26m), who has been sober for five months, presented a complex situation. Despite his newfound sobriety, Jim's persistent preaching about sobriety and religion, along with his attempts to "save" others from alcohol, left OP disenchanted.

Preceding the BBQ, OP made his stance clear to Gal, asserting that unless Jim could abstain from his preachings, extending an invitation was unwarranted. Moreover, OP directly communicated to Jim that uninvited discussions about sobriety were inappropriate, given his lack of expertise.

The situation took an unfortunate turn at the BBQ when Jim couldn't resist interjecting judgmentally as OP's uncle playfully expressed a desire for a stronger libation. This breach of decorum prompted OP to firmly ask Jim to depart, emphasizing his disregard for the established guidelines.

In the aftermath, varying viewpoints emerged among the attendees. While some dissented, OP stood resolute in his decision, confident that he had effectively conveyed his expectations to Jim. This left OP pondering whether his reaction was justifiable.

OP and his wife, recently had a big BBQ at their new house with both sides of the family and friends

After getting sober, OP's BIL became unbearable by incessantly trying to "save" others through lectures about alcohol risks. So, OP invited him but set a rule: sobriety talk only when asked, as he's not an expert.

BBQ begins, everyone, enjoying. Uncle arrives, wants stronger drink due to tough week. Jim comments negatively on his coping and OP tells Jim to leave

OP is questioning whether his decision to ask someone to leave was unjustified. This action was taken after BIL insulted the OP's uncle in front of the entire family.

This event belong to the OP, he was given a warning about the circumstances.

BIL attended with negative intentions, not to socialize but to preach, judge, and condemn

Next time, when OP asks him not to preach, he might respect his request

OP's BIL is insufferable

He's being very rude

OP warned him about the rule, but he still broke it and faced the promised consequences.

He crossed a line set for him, which holds true whether sober or drunk

Maybe BIL was jesting, yet the joke was inappropriate, given a prior warning against such remarks

OP's BIL can't handle booze due to his recovery, projecting his thoughts on others to remind himself

In situations like these, there's rarely a one-size-fits-all answer. It's easy to speculate after the fact, but decisions are often made in the heat of the moment, with a mix of emotions and considerations at play.

The true testament lies in how this incident is used as a learning experience moving forward – for Jim to better understand social boundaries and for OP to reflect on how to effectively communicate expectations while maintaining the event's spirit.

Damjan