Man Cries Out As High-Earning Wife Issues Ultimatum For Him To Either Level Up Or Ride Solo

How an Income imbalance is testing the bonds of marriage.

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• October 26, 2023

We often imagine marriage to be a sanctuary from the external pressures of society, a place where love transcends worldly matters such as income. However, for one 38-year-old grocery store manager (OP), his 8-year marriage is being tested by precisely that.

OP's wife, a successful HR executive in Silicon Valley, earns nearly double his salary. As a result, the dynamics of their relationship are strained.

Her ability to enjoy spontaneous trips, splurge on luxurious hotel suites, and uphold a lifestyle that mirrors her income puts him in a challenging spot. With his irregular work hours and limited income, he finds it difficult to keep up with her desires.

The essence of the issue is not just about money but about expectations. She sees him as being older and therefore assumes he should be on par with her success, if not surpass it. And while he has been on a relentless hunt for a job that balances suitable pay with regular hours, she perceives his explanations as mere excuses.

In his words, "I've been looking for a new job for two years now, and she's at the end of her rope with me not catching up to her so that we can live the life she wants to live."

For OP, the challenge lies in communicating his commitment to the relationship and assuring his wife of his continuous efforts.

Scroll down to read the full details of the story.

The story in detail

A bit of background

OP’s wife makes almost double his income, and she’s dissatisfied that he’s not making efforts to be on her level

OP needs advice on how to show his wife that he’s trying his best

Here’s how the Reddit community reacted to the story:

“Honestly, that’s not a relationship worth being in.“

“It should be both of you against the 'problem', not just her being mad about it and you gnawing yourself to bits over it.“

“Right now you guys don’t sound like you’re working as a team. Your wife seems to think it’s a competition against each other when it’s not.“

“Her desires are unrealistic and it only destroys your self esteem. Why are you wanting this fate?“

“Dude this reads like a very desperate cry for help. What kind of relationship are you in when this is how you feel?”

“I make 150k, I'm 22 and a woman. If I were concerned about partners making less than me then I'd never date anyone.“

“You guys need to have a real conversation about the future you both want…Marriage is more than this.”

The Reddit community feels a lot of sympathy for OP. Commenters can’t seem to understand why his wife would resort to belittling him rather than encouraging him in his career.

OP’s wife has also been accused of viewing their earnings as a competition rather than something both of them should enjoy as a team. As one Redditor said, “Her desires are unrealistic, and they only destroy your self-esteem.”

At the end of the day, OP and his wife need to sit down and discuss what they both want for the future while also setting realistic goals on how to achieve them. No one wishes for a divorce, and hopefully, it doesn’t get to that stage.

We’d love to get your thoughts on this story. Join the conversation in the comments.

Jesse